====
D: It’s okay to ask for help
D: You’re not a burden
D: Murder is okay
D: Your feelings matter
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D: Watching abductees reunite with their families makes me so happy
W: Why?
W: You’re the abductor!
D: I believe in creating my own happiness
====
D: I was never one to hold grudges
D: My father held grudges
D: I’ll always hate him for that
====
D: Hey, Wally sneezes like a girl!
W: How about I pound you like a boy?
D: …
W: That didn't come out right
====
D: You’re cute, but selfish and narcissistic to a point of near-delusion
W: …
W: He called me cute
====
D: We need WiFi
W: Okay, let’s not get carried away. We NEED oxygen
D: We HAVE oxygen. We NEED WiFi
====
B: Your friends were counting on you
D: Well, that’s their fault. I have carefully cultivated a persona that screams, “You’re on your own!"
====
W: Hey, what does a pregnancy test look like?
D: A thin piece of plastic with a thing on the end
W: Ok so this is definitely a gun
====
D: Walmart employees be so damn nosy like yes I am stealing what do you want?
====
D: Look, you seem very nice
R: Thank you
D: I have no room in my life for people like that
====
D: These days, everyone is too worried about hurting someone's feelings
D: When I was young, there were no feelings!
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W: My secret to maintaining a youthful appearance?
W: Immaturity
====
W: I'm a good person!
W: I don't deserve to be mistaken as a heterosexual!
====
R: ...What are you doing?
W: Barry told me I need to drink more fluids, so I'm waiting for this ice cream to melt
====
D: Wally failed his drug test
R: ...What?
D: Yeah, he wouldn't smoke with us
====
W: I have edge!
R: You really don’t
R: You are literally the most wide-eyed person I’ve ever seen
R: You have the face of a cartoon lamb
====
D: I’m the one who got us into this mess, so I’ll be the one who gets us much, much deeper into this mess
====
W: Villain: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game
W: Dick: [nodding] Knife Monopoly
W: Villain: I was actually going to hunt you for sport, but now I’m really interested in whatever Knife Monopoly is
====
W: Do you guys know where I can get one of those gold T shaped pendants?
D: That’s a cross
W: Across from where?
====
R: Remember, with great power comes…
W: Great responsibility?
R: Well, I was gonna say bitches, but if you want to be a virgin for the rest of your life…
====
D: You know that manslaughter is the least serious murder charge?
W: You don’t say
D: Manslaughter
D: Literally, the slaughter of a man
D: Sounds brutal, doesn’t it?
W: Heinous
D: Yet it’s the most socially acceptable form of murder
W: So you think we should change the name?
D: Yes, I do
D: How about “inadvertent life-ending”?
W: “Unintentional snuff-out.”
D: How about “I can’t believe it’s not murder”?
====
D: Make your own foot scrub!
W: 1. Feet are pretty hard to make, and 2. Don't call me a scrub ever again
====
W: Just let me take you to the hospital
D: Oh, I'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound?
D: Stay out of this Wally!
====
W: Go fuck yourself!
D: Fuck me yourself, you coward
====
R: Oh please, you wouldn't hurt a fly
D: You're right, because a fly is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to anybody
D: You, however, I would maim
====
W: That's the red-light district
W: I wonder why Roy is hanging around down there
D: Sex, Wally?
W: Uh? No, not right now, Dick
W: We've got work to do
====
D: Boyfriend?
D: I don’t want to be Wally's boyfriend
R: Well, what do you want then?
D: I don’t know!
D: I want to be with him all the time
D: I want to hear about his day and tell him about mine
D: I want to hold his hand while walking, stroke his hair and sleep together…
D: But I don’t want to be his fucking boyfriend
====
R: Dick has insanely strong opinions on everything
R: Go on, ask him a thing no one should have an opinion on
W: Hey Dick, what's the worst possible multiple of four?
D: Twelve, obviously
D: Dork
====
W: What is your greatest weakness?
D: Interpreting semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics
W: …
W: Could you give me an example?
D: Yes, I could
====
W: Are you having a depressive episode again?
D: Depressive episode?
D: I’m having a depressive series and we are on season 5
====
D: I wish everything was quieter and softer and less often
====
D: For the last time, I'm not your gay friend
D: I'm your gay enemy
====
D: Not to worry
D: I have a permit
W: This just says “I can do what I want.”
====
R: Good morning
W: I’m going to try to become left handed
R: …
R: I would just like one normal day
====
W: One time I watched him drink an entire jar of marinara sauce for dinner, Roy
W: He opened up a new jar of marinara sauce and then he drank it like it was a thing that normal people do
W: It was unholy
W: And then I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he said, and I quote, ‘It’s basically a smoothie, Wally.’
R: I mean, technically ... He’s not wrong?
====
R: In 20 years, I guarantee you dick will be Wally's second wife
W: What happened to my first wife?
D: Nothing that you can prove
====
D: You kill people for money?!
R: I can explain
D: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!
====
R: Am I the only guy on the team who’s straight?
D: I’ve seen the way you look at me
D: You’re not that straight
====
D: I may seem like an angry person on the surface but deep inside I'm actually angrier
====
D: I don't know whether to be grateful or disgusted that you two getting along
W: Why?
D: Well I'm glad that you two are getting along with each other but other people's happiness makes me want to barf
W: …
W: That explains a lot actually
====
D: We all go a little mad sometimes...haven’t you?
====
YOU ARE READING
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
FanfictionD- Dick W- Wally R- Roy This book is to give a look into the average conversation of teenage superheros and average rich kid problems (Contains birdflash, swearing, major gay, etc.) If you don't like it than what are you even doing here?
