BLACKPINK: a book full of crap ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ) ✔️

𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 #𝟗𝟕: 𝐰𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐮𝐬

(a/n: for some reason covid-19 inspired me to write this. now, it's not related to the virus whatsoever [even if it was the main inspiration]. i don't joke around when it comes to serious issues like these and would like to say that you nEED TO SANITIZE YOUR ENTIRE BODY AND SOUL. lol okay maybe i exaggerated but please just take care, don't touch your face with your hands too often if they're unwashed and enjoy staying in q u a r a n t i n e)

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lisa: omg this is everyone's fault *sneezes*

jisoo: no one even did anything

jennie: somebody get her the hell away from me i don't wanna get sick too

jisoo: is she the only one sick?

rosé: yeah she needs to be under house arrest

lisa:

jisoo:

jennie: i believe the term is quarantine.

rosé: that's what i said, house arrest

jennie: um no that's-

rosé: oh my goodness they literally mean the same damn thing

jisoo: they really don't

lisa: aCHoOO1!1!1

jennie: bye-

rosé: oh if you're going, then get the monkey some medication!

jennie: fine just as long as y'all keep her away from me

lisa: it's not like i am the virus

jennie: no but you DO have the virus in you

lisa: it's just the flu, chill

rosé: you know you can die from jUsT a flu, right?

lisa: *sneezes on purpose to cover up the embarrassment*

jisoo: i'll get her water *goes into the kitchen and fills up a glass of water to give lisa*

jisoo, handing lisa her water: 

lisa: what are you doing?

jisoo: huh? *is holding the glass with the tips of her fingers to prevent them from touching lisa's*

lisa: don't tell me you want to avoid me too :(

jisoo, to rosé: *whispers* what the heck do i do? she's going to start crying! 

rosé: just think of her tears as sweat. 

jisoo: what

rosé: sweat and tears are salty so they technically are the same thing

jisoo: jeez, what else is the same to you?

rosé: kimchi stew and mangoes

jisoo: ...

rosé: what? they're both foods

at a pharmacy somewhere in, well, wherever they are...

jennie: okay so what medicines do monkeys with a flu take? 

jennie, alerting a pharmacist: excuse me, but do you have flu medication for monkeys?

pharmacist: uh sorry?

jennie: monkey medication. monkdication- wait no that's probably for monks- ah, monkeydication. wait holy shit that sounds like monkey indication-

pharmacist: are you sick or is your monkey friend sick?

jennie: my monkey friend is sick