BLACKPINK: a book full of crap ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ) ✔️

𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 #𝟏𝟎𝟎: 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐣𝐚𝐢𝐥

(a/n: please don't take the title literally, it's only for entertainment purposes lmao)

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in some jail cell...

jisoo: whatever you're doing, stop.

jennie: i'm literally holding the bars, chill

jisoo: more like you're choking them and creating unwanted noises

lisa: i can't believe we all got arrested and put into the same cell

rosé: yeah but what i wanna know is how you guys even got here - well, except for you jisoo unnie. i already know you're a troublemaker

jisoo: i'll take that as a compliment since it's somewhat true

jennie: um, so i was walking down the street when i saw this gucci store having a 75% off sale-

lisa: and let me guess, you shoplifted most of the items because you not only adored them, but was also totally broke?

jennie: *guiltily looks down* yeah

rosé: and how'd you end up here, lisa?

lisa: i'm not even supposed to be here. i was only trying to break a door down because it wouldn't let me leave and go for my meeting

jennie: specify what type of door it was

lisa: curtain glass doors? y'know, the ones that slide open

jisoo: bruh no wonder

jennie: yeah, high authorities claim those kinds of doors. and well, if you break them or even scratch them, you're instantly thrown behind bars

lisa: that's some dumb logic. i wanted to give myself the liberty i needed-

rosé: were there more than one of those doors?

lisa: yeah, although mine specifically had a sign that read 'door work in progress'

jennie: oh my goodness you're so stupid

rosé: i don't see what's so confusing about that. it did say 'door work in progress', obviously meaning the door does work

jisoo: and i don't see what's so confusing about not realizing that there's still the other half of the sentence waiting to finish the puzzle. 'door work in progress' refers to the door still being under construction, you idiot

lisa: it looked perfectly fine to me

jennie: it's been technologically developed, ever thought of fucking wires and circuits? inside the door, those things could've been broken

lisa: huh, i guess that's there too

jisoo: unbelievable. and you? *raises an eyebrow at rosé*

rosé: you first. it was my question after all

lisa: don't pretend to be the leader here

jennie: just say how you got here

jisoo: i hit myself-

jennie:

lisa:

rosé: 

jennie: that's it? nothing more?

jisoo: -which eventually led to me losing my balance and knocking over a lit candle. then that candle hit my curtains and my entire house was on fire. then that fire spread throughout my entire floor, and soon after everyone's homes caught fire and all i could do was stare in awe at that one flower pot which didn't catch fire

rosé: there it is

lisa: why do you even have a lit candle at home???

jisoo: why are you questioning me???

jennie: why can't you both just shut up???

lisoo: hmph. *crosses their arms*

jisoo, facing rosé: now will you say how you got here?

rosé: it's nothing, really. i only death-threatened a kid and said that i'd kill his father if he didn't give me that humongous lollipop in his hand. turns out his father was a police officer who arrested me after seeing me nearly stab his kid

jisoo: ah-

jennie: how entertaining

lisa: now what?

rosé: idk

a few hours later...

jennie: -and oH MY GOODNESS ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS LOOK GOOD FOR CERTAIN REASONS YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO KNOW WHY AM I RANTING SO MUCH UGH I JUST WANTED TO BUY EVERY CLOTHING MATERIAL IN THAT GUCCI STORE GUYS YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYNA SAY DON'T YOUUUUUUUU DON'T YOUOOUUOUTYRJNSEFBJGHE *more rambling*

lisa: we're going to die before she even finishes

jisoo: we should escape without her

rosé: agreed.