Love & War

The Point Of No Return

I lie there wondering if it was right not to tell anyone. To let all those people die or get hurt. I feel arms on me, shaking me. I look up to see my mom staring down at me.

"Clarke." I barely hear her through my ears ringing. "Clarke." She shakes me again.

"What?" I stare around again before sitting up.

"Clarke we have to get out of here." She pulls me up. I look forward to see Lexa staring at me. I look back at my mom to see fair on her face. 

"Did anyone else get out?" I ask.

"Out? What do you mean?" She looks at Lexa and then me before stepping back. "Did you you know about this?"

"Nomon." I try to grab her hand but she pulls away.

"You knew and you let all those people die?" She accuses me. 

"Nomon please." I beg. 

"Tell me this was Lexa and not you." I look away. "Oh, Clarke." I look back at her. I walk up to her grabbing her hand.

"I wish I didn't do this. That I wasn't apart of this. You can't tell anyone about this. If anyone finds out we knew, the alliance of the twelve clans will break. We'll lose the war. Bellamy will die." I did this for him. Deep down I saved him from being found. As long as he stays alive everything will be okay.

"You crossed a line. Their blood is on your hands. And even if we win, I'm afraid you won't be able to wash it off this time. You have so much blood on your hands how can you add more. I'll keep your secret but I do not know how you sleep at night." She walks away back to TonDc, back to help anyone who is still alive.

After watching her leave Lexa grabs me, turning me to face her. I stare at her face, everything we did was to protect the war not our people.

"We have to go Clarke." 

"No!" I yank my arm out of hers. "I will not be coming with you." I walk back to TonDc to find destruction everywhere. People are crying, screaming in pain. I see people holding arms or legs that are no longer there. A horse runs pass me, it's tail on fire.

I caused this. I should have told people. Maybe more would be alive. I am walk along when a bullet lands at my feet. I look up and more bullets start to descend upon us.

"Take cover!" I yell. I hide, needing up beside Lexa.

"We can take him out." She says.

"How?" I stare at her. She points up.

"We go to him. Once he is dead everyone will be safe." I look at her and then the hill.

"Alright. I'll come with you but only so I can kill someone." She nods understanding. I don't forgive her for pressuring me into leaving.  

We climb the hill, trying to make sure he doesn't see us. As we are walking up we meet Lincoln. He is surprised at first to see us but soon follows us to take out the shooter. We find the sniper at the top of the hill. Lincoln goes around to surprise him as we approach him from the front. 

The sniper see's us, firing at us as we make our way to him. I take out the gun, pointing it towards him as Lincoln comes around. As Lincoln is approaching the man uses a tone generator that effects reapers. Since Lincoln is still one he falls to the ground, incapacitated. The man grabs him, holding a knife to his throat as he points at gun at me. 

"Shoot him!" Lincoln yells. "Your people need you."

"You are my people." I say shooting the sniper through Lincoln's shoulder. Lincoln groans as the man falls behind him, dead. One problem solved, so many more to be solved.

We arrive back to find people being treated. I find my mom lying on a stretcher. I kneel beside her.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Kane was trapped. I tried to help him when I fell in." Tears fill her eyes. "I did not know if I would see you again." Her hand goes to my cheek.

"I am sorry. I should have gotten people out." She nods, not forgiving me but accepting it. I turn to see Lexa giving a speech. The warriors cheer, wanting blood for their fallen men and woman. They want Mountain men blood and so do I.

Later that night I sit by a fire, sharping my sword. Octavia walks over, staring at me before sitting down. 

"I thought you were dead, Clarke." She says looking at me. I set my sword down looking at her. "I've been going it over and over in my head trying to figure out how you are still alive." I look down taking a deep breathe before looking at her again. "You went into the main building to find  Lexa but never came out. How are you two still alive?"

"I guess we were just lucky." I say, looking away.

"I know you Clarke. Something's wrong and then you and Lexa disappear. Tell me you didn't know about the missile." I look back at her showing everything on my face. She shakes her head, her face going hard.

"You don't understand." I half-growl at her. She looks back at me. 

"You let all those people die." She stands up, looking down at me. "You were going to let me die."

I stand up walking around the fire to meet her. "I did it to save Bellamy. If we evacuated Tondc, they would have known that we had an inside man and killed Bellamy. I did it to save him." I say to her face. She looks away, bitting her lip. "I did it to win the war. You may not understand that being from space but I do. I have lived with war my whole life." She looks at me. "This is not new." 

I walk away, feeling anger rise inside me. I shouldn't let her get to me. The next day Mom and the other injured head back to Camp Jaha while I go with Lexa. We arrive at the door to Mount Weather. Waiting knowing that we are at the point of no return.