Love & War

42 Days After Praimfaya

I push the rocks out of the way. For 42 days I healed and took care of myself while the fires burned above me. I step out of the lab, looking at the world around me. It is sand for miles. No life. I turn picking up my bag before looking back at the desert. I put my hand on my stomach, rubbing it as I feel a small kick. 

"We can do this." I say. I walk forward, not sure where I am going but know I need to take one step at a time.

I walk across the barren sea to where the rover was. I find it piled under sand. I get it started and soon make my way to Polis. Having the rover makes this easier. I stop first at Arkadia to see if I can find anything that would be useful. I find some materials to make a dish to attach to the radio. I don't know if it will work. 

I pack it in the rover and head to Polis. I stop when I see the destruction. The tower is gone. I make my way to where the bunker is. Maybe if I can find the door, mom and the others can open it. That way I'm not alone. 

I try not to work too hard, not wanting to hurt the baby. I move some rocks, resting when I can. I eventually find the the door. I take a rock banging on it, hoping they can hear me.

"Mom!" I yell. "I'm here! I'm here!" I cry. I do it over and over till I sit back staring at it. I try to move some more rocks but they shift, falling around me. I get out of there just as the hole I made  collapses. I watch as the rocks fall, trapping everyone in the bunker. 

I sit on some of the rumble, taking out the radio, wondering if it will work. Praying  he can hear me. 

"There isn't much to look at. Polis is destroyed. I went to Arkadia to look for food but only found death and destruction." I put the radio on my lab. Trying to hold back the tears. "What's the point of living if all there is, is death and destruction." I laugh. "Real cheerful Clarke. Ignore me, okay. Haven't had water in two days. I need to find some or..." I let the tears fall. "I don't know if you can hear on this piece of crap radio. But in case this is the last time I do this I just want to say. Don't feel bad about leaving me. You did the right thing." I smile. "I'm proud of you."

I put the radio away, wondering if he can hear me, praying he can.

Bellamy POV

42 days have pass since we left the earth. Everyday I stare down at the earth. The fire is gone, all that is left is brown sand. No green. I look behind me to see Monty coming in with the algae. It has been a few days since we harvested it. Two days ago Murphy drank some, putting him in a coma. 

Emori sits by his bed, hoping he will wake up. We all hope. Monty feels bad but he has worked on it and hopefully made it drinkable. I walk over sitting beside Harper. Monty gives us each a bowl. We all look at it, scared that it will put us in a coma too.

I take a sip, wanting to gag but I know we need to live off this. 

"Not bad." Monty says. We all look at him. he shrugs drinking some more.

"That is gross." Raven says.

"It's what we have to live off of the next five years." Monty says. "So I guess, get use to it." I watch him walk out, carrying the pot. Harper follows him. I look at Raven and Echo before getting up.

I go to my room, collapsing on the floor. Tears fill my eyes. She's gone. I cry, saying her name as I sit on the floor, my hands own my face.

"Bellamy?" I look up to see Clarke in front of me.

"Clarke?" I stare at her, confused.

"Why are you sad?" She asks, kneeling in from of me. Her hand touches my knee. "Are you not glad I am here?"

"You're not though." I say. "You died." he shakes her head, laughing. 

"I never died." She leans forward kissing me. "I came to the ring." She frowns. I shake my head not understanding what is going on. 

"You're not here." I say again. 

"I am."

"You're not. You're dead!" I yell. "And it's all my fault!" My eyes snap open. I look around and realize it was a dream. I lean back against my bed. It's my fault. I left her. 

Bellamy?" I look at the door to see Raven. "Are you alright?"

"I don't know." I say. I put my head in my hands again. "I lost her." She puts her hand on my knee. I move my hands down to look at her.

"I know this is hard but she would not want this. She would want you to go on." I nod, agreeing. She squeezes my knee before walking out. I look back down at the ground, trying to see that she is right. I get up walking to the window over looking earth.

"I'm sorry Clarke. But I have to let you go. May we meet again." I say before walking away. I can't let her cloud my mind anymore. She is gone and isn't coming back.

Clarke POV

Days have passed since I left Polis. I sleep in the rover, it finally rained so I got water. Filled up my water bag but now thats even getting empty. A sand storm happened, destroying the solar panels on the rover. 

I am now walking through the desert, not sure where to go. I have stripped everything off. I fall to the ground, exhausted. I wish he was here. He would know what to do. 

"Clarke!" I look up to see him standing before me, hand out. "You have to get up."

"I can't." I croak out. "I'm too tired." He kneels in front of me. 

"You have to or our child will die. They will never know life if you give up. You never have and you can't start now." I stare at him and then watch as he stands back up. "Now get up and fight!" 

My eyes snap open. Something is pecking me. I turn to see a bird. I shoo it away only to realize. It's a bird. It must have a home.

"Show me where you live." I follow it up a slope when I get to the top. There is nothing, just sand.  The bird flies around me again. I am about to step when I fall, sliding down the slope.

"Ahhhh." I scream. "I'm done! Do you hear me! I've lost everything! I lost my father, my mother, my friends." I cry. "I have nothing left." I take the gun out of my belt. There is no way I can live life if I can't even find food. 

"My fight is over." I whisper. I about to shoot myself when the bird flies over my head towards another slope. I follow it again, getting to the top I stop. It is a valley. Full of tree's and water. I look at the bird, perched on a tree.

"Thank you." I shoot it. Once it falls I take it into the valley. I make a fire and eat it. I have found a safe haven for me and this child. I have found home.