Love & War

What Have I Done?

Clarke POV

Later that day Octavia shows up, shocked by what has happened here. I convince Lexa to let me go and talk to Bellamy. Maybe I can convince him and the others too hand over Pike. She lets me. I walk with Octavia hoping I can convince him.

"Why did he do this?" I ask as we walk towards Arkadia.

"I do not know." She says. "I guess you didn't get to lead your army."

"I'm glad. I'm tired of fighting. Maybe once it was all I wanted, all I needed but now..."

"Now you see things in a different way." I look at her nodding. 

"Do you think he'll listen?" I ask.

"I honestly don't know.  We almost had him on our side. We had almost convinced him to help us fix this mess they made but...."

"Decided to stay the course?" I say as she nods her head, agreeing. 

"Think's he's a monster now. That he doesn't deserve forgiveness."

"Maybe we're all monsters." I look forward.

We make it too Arkadia, crawling through an airshaft in the wall. Once inside Octavia take me to an office where I can wait while she goes and gets Bellamy. I pace the office, still wondering what I'll say to him. The door opens and I hear them arguing. He stops when he see's me. Octavia leaves closing the door behind him.

"Hey. Go easy on her." I say.

"What are you doing here Clarke?" He demands.

"We need to talk." I say, standing up straight.

He shakes his head. "Now you want to talk. The mighty Wanheda, who turned her back on us when we came and rescued you. Now you want to talk."

"Arkadia needs to make things right or Lexa and the twelve clans will wipe you out."

"Let her try." He stares at me. I don't see the man I once knew. Maybe Octavia is right.

"Please tell me that going to war is not what you want?" I step forward. He stares for a long time before answering. His face softens.

"We've been at war since we landed." He says softly.

"This isn't who you are." I frown. 

"You're wrong. This is who I've always been. And I let you, and Octavia, and Kane convince me that we could trust these people when they've shown over and over again who they are. And I won't let anyone else die for that mistake."

"Bellamy..."

"Enough Clarke." He stops me. I stare at him, a little shocked. "You are not one of us. You left and that's a good thing. You were willing to let a bomb drop on my sister, then you believed in the deal we made with Lexa who left us to die in mount weather. Forcing us to kill everyone who helped us. People who trusted me." 

Tears fill my eyes. I open my mouth but nothing comes out. He shakes his head turning to face the door. He leans against it as I stand there. I sit down, tears falling down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." I say. He looks over his shoulder at me. "I'm sorry for leaving." He turns to fully look at me. I don't know what else to say so I look down, tears falling on my hands.

I hear his footsteps walk over to me. He stands over me before kneeling, taking my hand. I look at him, smiling. We intwine our hands holding each other. I stare into his eyes, everything I felt that first day still there.

"I know we can fix this." I say. He looks down before opening his eyes to stare at me again.

"I'm sorry too." He says before moving his hand to my other. I hear the click and i look down to see a handcuff on it, attached to the desk.