The Pastor's Son

Thinking About Him and Does He Know

Jayden is confused. 'Where is Isaiah and his sister?' He's sitting in church, and doesn't see Isaiah or Joanna, but he sees their mom, Beatrice. 

Jayden's parents clearly don't notice. 'Why would they? They don't really care where Isaiah is, they just want me to change,' Jayden knows it's true. 

He really wants to apologize, and maybe tell him that he feels the same way. Despite all of the denial, Jayden knows that he's in love with Isaiah. He turned all of his feelings into anger. He's glad Leah canceled their date. But he's sad that he's been such an idiot and couldn't see that Isaiah felt the same way the entire time. 

Jayden starts thinking about what Isaiah said about not having a good father figure. He looks up at the pastor, talking. When he looks closer, all he sees is Matthew's cold, sinister eyes. His grin, filled with evil. Isaiah only said that he wasn't a good dad. But he starts thinking back at Isaiah's past injuries people would gossip about. 

One time, he had a black eye, and all he said was that some kid accidentally hit him with a ball. 'Did Isaiah lie? Was it Matthew?' 

The idea of Matthew being an awful person didn't surprise Jayden. Something about Matthew has always been off. Jayden can't pin anything on him. He has no proof. And what if he's wrong, and Isaiah starts hating him even more for claiming that his dad abuses him.

Jayden brushes off the thought, deciding that he is just paranoid. 

If only he knew.

................................................................................................................................................................

Church ends, and Jayden is relieved. It's not that he doesn't enjoy church, it's just that being here without Isaiah, makes him sad. 

Matthew and Beatrice come up to his family before they can leave the chapel. "Hey, Mark, Carly. How are you?" Matthew ask. Now that Jayden thinks about it, Beatrice doesn't speak much around people. 

Carly smiles, "We're doing wonderful," She looks back at Mark for confirmation. Mark nods, and smiles. 

"What about you two?" Mark questions.

Beatrice tries to say something, but Matthew intervenes, "We're doing just fine. Isn't that right, darling?" 

Beatrice forces a smile and nods. It's concerning to Jayden. If they have such a healthy relationship, then why can't she talk?

"Anyway, Beatrice and I want to invite you two to lunch. Our treat. A bunch of parents are coming. It's like a break from the kids," Matthew gestures to Jayden. Jayden scowls at him, his parents don't notice. But, Matthew gives him an intense look. 

Carly and Mark look back at Jayden, as if asking him if they can go. "Will you be fine alone?" Carly ask him. Jayden knows she is only asking because she's still worried about what happened last night. 

Jayden nods, "I'll be fine."

His parents turn back and accept Matthew's offer. "We just need to drop him off at home, where's the place?" Mark answers. 

Matthew gives Mark all of the details. The place, the address, and what name the reservation is under. All stuff Jayden has zero interest in. 

Finally, his parents stop talking to Isaiah's parents and they leave church. 

The car ride is silent. His parents either don't know what to say, or have nothing to say. Or maybe both. Jayden can't tell, and he doesn't care. The only thing he cares about is Isaiah. Jayden doesn't know if he can talk to his friends about this. What will they say?

When they get home, Jayden climbs out of the car and hears his dad pull the car back onto the road. He doesn't look back. 

Things have changed. Jayden knows that he is part of the reason. 

When he gets inside his house, he doesn't know what to do. He's losing it. He goes to his room and starts thinking through everything. Before he even knows it, he starts crying.

This whole situation has turned him into a big crybaby. He wants to call Isaiah, but he doesn't even have his number. The same question keeps hitting him, 'How could he love me? He's so sweet, and kind. He does anything to help anyone. I'm cold, all I've done is push him away,' Jayden can't comprehend anything. Part of him wishes that Isaiah doesn't have feelings for him. And the other part of him just wants Isaiah in his arms. That's a lie. All of him wants Isaiah. He just wants to be near him. Know that he didn't ruin everything. 

Although, Jayden knows he doesn't deserve such kindness. He should feel tortured, because he's the one who ruined everything. 

'This isn't fair! Does he even know what he's doing to me? Walking around being adorable, being so kind, being so perfect... Does Isaiah know that he's killing me?'