younger | ethma

Chapter Twenty Nine

Emma's POV
Present Day

My contract is up at the end of April. That's why I'm staying for two more months.

Right now, we are preparing for March Madness.

Which means promotional kids events during basketball games, and everything in between.

It's not exactly stressful so much as busy, and it creates late nights at my office planning everything out.

I'm also in charge of hiring people to sing the national anthem, so I've been auditioning people non-stop.

I don't really have time to think about things other than work right now, but somehow I still manage to think about Ethan.

Knowing that I'm going home soon is making me really anxious, both good ways and bad.

Good because I'm excited to see my friends and family, and even Ethan, but bad because I'm nervous to see him.

What if he's married or something? I mean, I know we promised each other that it's gonna be us in the end, but things change, people grow, and six years apart + 2000 miles = the unknown.

For all I know he could have a girlfriend. Or even a fiancé.

I don't know. It all gives me an unsettling feeling in my stomach.

I just want him to be mine again. Every part of me wants him to somehow be laying on his side of the bed when I get home.

But he's not here right now, and it's obviously not going to happen like that.

Tonight was another late night at the office, and I got home at 11:30.

Alana was still up, and she was making popcorn in the kitchen.

I sat down at the island in our kitchen, and rested my chin on my hand, which was being held up by my elbow resting on the counter.

"Long day?"

"So long." I responded.

She looked at me and cocked her head to the side.

"White or red?"

I leaned my head back and sighed. "White. Make it a big glass."

She got the bottle of wine from the fridge and poured me a big glass as I requested, and drank the majority of it right away.

"You okay, Emma?"

"I'm just stressed. Work is so busy with March Madness coming up, I'm moving soon, and I'm nervous about seeing Ethan or not when I get back, and it's just stressing me out."

"Listen, Em." She said, sitting down across from me. "Based on the story you've told me, you guys were meant for each other. If you show up in Chicago and find him, he's gonna realize that you really didn't give up on him, and he's gonna take you back."

"You really think so?"

"How could he not? You guys were each other's everything's."

"Yeah. Love can be scary at times. The unknown is what gets me. What if he doesn't live there anymore?"

"Emma, stop worrying. If it's meant to happen it will. You just have to trust the process."

I took another long sip of my wine, finishing the glass.

"It's gonna be okay, Emma. I'm always here for you." She added.

"Thanks, Lana."

She gave me a soft smile before walking out of the kitchen with her popcorn.

I poured another glass of wine before putting the bottle back in the fridge—2 should always be my limit with glasses of wine, and then I say back down.

I took a sip and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and simply just wondering how Ethan's doing right now.

Once I finish the glass, I put it in the dishwasher and walk to my bedroom, waving goodnight to Alana on the way.

I shut my door and sit down on my bed before opening my nightstand drawer and finding Ethan's letter.

I subconsciously play with the necklace he got me as I read his handwriting again.

My Dear Emma,

You are everything to me. I'm always going to believe that you're my soulmate. I'm going to miss you so damn much. I'll be right here when you get back. I'm writing you this letter for all of the times you'll feel like giving up: remember these things: I'll always look for you. I'll always be waiting for you to come home. No matter how long we don't see or even hear from each other, I'll be thinking about you always, and I'll always be hoping that the someday when you come home is coming soon. You have changed my life by simply being in it at all. You've cared for me more than anyone else ever had this way, and you've loved me in ways I haven't even fully comprehended. You'll always be in my heart, and I know I'll always be in yours. I'm gonna miss your pancakes so much. You still never told me the secret ingredient by the way. I know you well enough to know that you're still not going to tell me. That's okay. I'll just ask you to make me some when you get back. Remember: it's gonna be us in the end. No. Matter. What. I love you so much. I always will. This isn't goodbye. I'm not letting it be one. We'll be together again someday. I promise.

See you later,

Ethan

P.S. I'm never giving up on us. I love you.

I really hope that he wasn't saying that just to say it, but I think I know him well enough to know that what he was saying is true.

I put the letter back in the drawer where it belongs, and I get up to take a shower.

I'm not tipsy, but I'm definitely a tad buzzed, and the effects of the white wine are definitely coming through.

When I told you that alcohol makes me miss Ethan even more, I meant it in more ways than one.

It's been a few years, and I'm now a full grown woman. Who says a woman can't take care of herself?

While also thinking about the man who made her feel so good back when they were younger.

This is what two glasses of wine does to me.

I leaned my head against the wall and squeezed my eyes shut, thinking about Ethan the whole time that I was occupying myself with my right index and middle fingers.

I released onto my hand after a few minutes, and then I finished cleaning myself up and washing my hair.

I miss when Ethan used to wash my hair for me.

He was always so gentle with me, as if I was delicate, but he was rough when we both felt like it.

I proceeded to get ready for bed, throwing on a tank top and some sweatpants before drying my hair and putting it into a messy bun.

I brushed my teeth before finally climbing under the covers for the night.

Only one thing on my mind as I shut my lamp off and started to fall asleep.

If Ethan was here, I bet his head would be laying on my chest right now, and all would be good in the world again.