feelings | cranksepticeye

20 - back to school

seán woke up that morning with a feeling of dread. he didn't want to go to school. he didn't want to face mark and felix and everybody else. he didn't know what was going to happen. all he knew is that something would go down and cause him to end up in a bad position.

when he went down the stairs after getting dressed, his mother began to grow concerned after he refused to eat breakfast. he felt too sick to eat it; he thought that if he did he would just throw it back up. he got on his shoes and grabbed a jacket, threading his arms through the sleeves. his mother approached him slowly with a slice of toast in a piece of kitchen towel. seán looked over at her, noticing the food she was holding out in front of her.

"i don't want you going to school without eating any breakfast." seán shook his head and put his school bag on his back, moments away from leaving the house.

"i told you i'm not hungry." he replied gloomily before grabbing the door handle. his mother placed a caring hand on his arm.

"seán...please tell me what's going on. you haven't been right since yesterday. i'm worried." he rolled his eyes. he didn't want to be dealing with this.

"i'm fine mom." she raised an eyebrow and shook her head.

"don't lie to me-"

"look, even if i'm not fine, why would it be any of your business?" seán yelled, growing more and more angry the longer his mother hassled him.

"it's my business because i'm your mother and i want to look after you. it's somethings wrong, i need to know about it so i can help you." now she was getting agitated.

"well you can't help me. so it's useless trying to." and with that, seán opened the door and left the house, slamming it shut behind him. he felt like screaming, crying, throwing up, giving up...but he knew he couldn't. he knew it wouldn't make any sort of difference to what was happening. the anxious boy began his journey to the hell he would now have to spend hours in.

like he had suspected, things began to go wrong as soon as he got there. when he arrived, he couldn't locate his friendship group anywhere, though that may have been a blessing in disguise. he spent about 20 minutes standing outside his dorm room completely on his own, with a couple of people passing him asking him where his friends are.

about five minutes before the first bell of the day rang, a familiar face encountered the lonely boy, that face being the one belonging to greg.

"how come your powerpuff girls are down in the cantine having fun without you fag?" he laughed whilst shoving potato chips in his mouth. seán growled and tried his best to ignore the prick standing in front of him.

"did your little posse finally break up or somethin?" greg asked, getting real close to the boy he was speaking to.

"do me a favour and go fuck yourself." seán argued back, wanting greg to just get out of his face. the bully was about to say something back when he turned to face a group of boys that were walking towards the form room; it was seán's 'friends'. seán's eyes immediately attached themselves to ethan. he was standing in the middle of them. they were all
laughing with each other and joking, but that all stopped when they noticed seán standing at the form room door. they all knew. they were all judging him.

"your fuck buddies came back to you. looks like i don't need to keep you company anymore." greg grinned and chuckled, before swinging his fist back and delivering a harsh punch to seán's stomach. the boy doubled over in pain and greg laughed as he fell to the floor.

"see you around twink!" greg cheerfully yelled before running off to his own form room. seán remained seated on the floor, his hands on his stomach, his head in his lap. he knew they were all staring at him. he knew they didn't care about what they just saw. tears were coming to his eyes. he looked up to wipe them away and saw ethan kneeling down next to him.