feelings | cranksepticeye

29 - poems

ethan jumped off of the bike excitedly and banged on the front door, realising he may have knocked it way too hard, but he couldn't help it. he was super excited to see sean, even though the last time he saw him was literally the day before. the door soon opened and there stood sean's mother. ethan knew he had to get her name at some point, but he wasn't quite sure how to come about it. she smiled at the boy, already knowing what he was there for.

"hi ethan, do come in." he smiled and thanked her, putting his bike in the same place he had yesterday and entering the house. he shut the door behind him and removed his shoes. he was making his way towards the stairs when sean's mother approached him from behind.

"would you like something to eat or drink ethan?" she asked kindly. ethan smiled and shook his head.

"no, but thank you mrs mcloughlin."

"please, do call me florrie." well that's one way to get her name. ethan smiled and hurried up the stairs in anticipation. he knocked on sean's bedroom door and received a slightly cheerier 'come in' than the day before. he didn't sound as tired either. maybe he'd actually looked after himself since ethan had left. ethan entered the bedroom and shut the door behind him, smiling at the other boy sat at the bed.

"you came to see me again." sean said and smiled joyfully.

"of course i did." ethan replied and sat next to sean. he noticed that all of the plates of food were now gone and his room looked a lot cleaner over all. his hair wasn't greasy any more meaning he'd had a shower. this brought a smile to ethan's face; sean really had taken ethan's advice.

"how was school?" he asked. ethan rolled his eyes.

"boring, like always. how was...home? done anything interesting today?" the two boys chuckled as ethan took off his bag and placed it on the floor next to his feet.

"um...i had a nap." sean replied, still chuckling slightly. ethan smiled and nodded.

"well that's good!" ethan replied a little too happily.

"yeah. my mom told me i slept for six hours and for one of those hours the next door neighbour decided to do some drilling in his back garden. she was surprised i slept through it." the two boys laughed again but ethan was just really glad that sean slept for as long as he did. he needed a rest after not sleeping for a week. ethan then remembered the thing he had in his bag that he'd brought for sean, something he'd said he would show him since the first time they met.

"so...you know when we first met? and i told you that i write poetry?" sean nodded, not quite catching on yet. ethan reached into his bag and pulled out a small notebook that was slightly bigger than the palm of his hand. sean caught sight of it and smiled instantly, pointing at the book.

"is that the book you write it all in?!" he asked excitedly. ethan nodded.

"can you read me something?" ethan froze in fear.

"um...i was just gonna let you read them yourself...in your head.." sean shook his head and pouted his bottom lip.

"it's better if the poet reads out his own work." ethan sighed and reluctantly opened up the book, trying to find the least embarrassing poem to read out. he eventually found one and took a deep breath before timidly reading out the stanzas.

'their words stab into my heart like the vicious thorns of roses,                                                                       and their attacks leave red on my body.                                                                                                                      but nobody comes to swoop me up into loving petals                                                                                          or help me with the roots of my problems.                                                                                                                instead they like to watch me wither and wilt from the burning hatred they have for me - a boy who does nothing but try to thrive and bloom in the adolescent world.'

the boy looked up from the pages expecting to see sean laughing at him, but instead he just saw him sitting there, completely astounded.

"that...that was amazing. how did you write that?!" sean asked in a shocked manner. ethan blushed and looked down at the floor.

"i don't know...just personal experience i guess." suddenly sean looked sad and distressed.

"that was personal experience?" he asked sadly. ethan nodded.

"oh...i'm really sorry. i had no idea." ethan smiled at him and shook his head. 

"it's fine. it's all in the past now." sean gave a weak smile before putting his hand out towards the book.

"may i?" he asked. 

"um..yeah, sure." ethan smiled at him and passed him the book. it was completely full and there were a lot of pages. sean went all the way to the beginning of the book, analysing the writing on the page.

"you can keep it if you want...i have no use for it, so.." sean looked up happily.

"really?" he asked. ethan nodded to which sean wrapped his arms around the other boy and thanked him. ethan didn't think it was that much of a big deal, but clearly it meant something to sean, so he didn't question it. the two let go of each other after a few seconds and sean went back to silently reading the writing on the pages.

"you could totally release these."

"to the public?" ethan asked nervously. sean nodded.

"you mean...to other people?" sean giggled and nodded. 

"yeah. you could do really well! i'd buy a copy. i'm sure many other people would too." ethan nodded and thanked his friend. sean looked over at the boy sitting next to him.

"ethan."

"yeah?"

"you're blushing."