feelings | cranksepticeye

21 - pity

a/n - i'm writing this chapter on my laptop so i can't put the accent for sean's name. i know it probably won't bother most of you but it'll probably piss off at least one person lmao.

sean already assumed that his day couldn't get any worse, but boy was he wrong. first lesson was chemistry, in which sean and ethan sit together. he wasn't overly happy about that, especially with the way he treated ethan after form, but he would rather sit with him than anybody else in the group. as he suspected he stood outside of chemistry alone, his old friends standing in the middle of the line laughing and having fun without him. well, he was alone, until somebody encountered him...

"i noticed that you haven't been with your friends all morning. what happened? massive fall out?" it was signe. better than greg i guess.

"none of your business." sean replied gloomily, to which signe pouted her bottom lip.

"and why is that?" she asked calmly.

"because we're not friends. we don't have any sort of relationship. so why would i tell you?" she actually looked upset and disappointed when he said that. when he realised this, it made him feel a little bad. 

"i know we're not friends. and i know we don't get along...but if you need me, i'm here for you. and that's a promise." her comment sounded sincere. so sincere in fact, that sean thanked her and truly believed her promise. she had her flaws, but she was a pretty honest person. if only he could have been like that. signe walked away to join her friends gab, marzia and mika. sean had talked to them all before. they all seemed like nice girls, and he got along with them all.

suddenly, sean was snapped out of his thoughts when the classroom door opened, and mr wilson stood there telling everybody to enter. the boy did as he was told and walked in the room, collecting his book and then finding his seat. he could see the teacher walking over to him as the other students piled into the classroom. oh god, what have i done now?

"i don't know if you knew but one of the students has moved schools, meaning there's now an empty seat next to one of the pupils in here. i'm moving ethan there so that your friend can sit back next to you. ever since he got moved there he's been acting grumpy, so i'm moving him back." great. that's just fantastic. of course mark, one of the people he really didn't want to talk to, was being moved to sit next to him. it could have been worse; it could have been felix sitting there. but he still wasn't overjoyed with the plan.

"okay." mr wilson smiled and then left to go and speak to mark and ethan, who had just entered the classroom as the teacher left sean's desk. sean rolled his eyes and got out his stationary, trying to act as if nothing was happening. a few moments later he heard the chair next to him being pulled out. he knew mark was sitting down. sean didn't pay any attention to him, and instead wrote down the information on the board. mark looked over at the boy beside him, wanting to say something, but not quite having the courage. so instead he sat in silence and did as instructed by the teacher.

about half an hour into the lesson mr wilson left the room to go and assist a supply teacher in a seperate room, leaving the classroom with no adult supervision. as soon as he left people were getting up out of their seats to go and talk to their friends. that's exactly what bob, wade, tyler and felix did. sean looked up and glanced at the boys. they were beckoning mark and ethan over to them. sean looked back down at his work, trying to block it all out.

ethan stood still at his table, not knowing where to go. he was torn. he didn't want to let anyone down, but no matter which way he went, someone was going to get upset. he thought about his interaction with sean earlier, and how irritated he got. he realised that in the end, it was probably best if he didn't bother sean. he seemed angry at him. ethan didn't want to aggravate him even more. so with one last glance at the isolated boy, he made his way over to the group of boys calling him over. 

mark saw ethan walk over to them and was shocked. they were trying to call him over (except for ethan and tyler). he put up a finger, as if telling them to wait a minute. mark looked over at the lonely boy. sean could feel mark's stare burning into him. he wished mark would just leave. he didn't want this meaningless pity.

"just go to them." sean finally commanded. mark was surprised.

"what?" he asked, not knowing what else to say.

"i know you don't really want to sit here with me. the only reason you would is because you feel bad. they want you over there anyway. if you don't go, they might fall out with you next. so just fucking go to them." mark sighed and looked over at his friends, then back at his best friend.

"but...i still-"

"i don't care mark! just go!" sean yelled, attracting the attention of the rest of the pupils in the classroom, including his 'friends'. after a few seconds they all resumed their conversations and ignored what had just happened. mark stood up and turned to face his friends.

"fine. forget i tried to be your friend." he mumbled, before walking to his group. when he got there, most of them began to snicker and laugh. ethan and tyler just watched with worried expressions on their faces.

"what the hell is he yelling at you for?" wade asked whilst giggling.

"he was telling me to leave him alone."

"there you go then! he wants to be left alone, none of us have to speak to him. he's fine on his own." bob chimed in. tyler stepped forward and shook his head. 

"he's not. he's just saying that to try and make it look like he's not bothered." he commented. ethan joined in.

"after form he told me that he doesn't want me to talk to him because he thinks i'm doing it out of pity. he does want us to be with him. he just doesn't want us to do it out of guilt." everyone stood in silence after ethan spoke, no one knowing what to say. 

the teacher didn't return until there were only five minutes of the lesson left, so when he came back everybody was instructed to pack their things away. when mark went back to his table to collect his things, he couldn't help but say one last thing to his best friend.

"i'm not against you. remember that." and with that he left and went to speak to his other friends. sean watched him as he went, his heart sinking. he knew mark was lying. why wouldn't he be? next lesson was gym...he normally partnered with felix or mark for that...he began to work it out in his head. bob and wade always go together. mark would probably go with tyler now that sean was out of the picture, and the boys had discovered earlier that week that ethan wasn't in the same gym class as them, leaving felix on his own...meaning sean and felix would probably have to partner up. 

fuck.