feelings | cranksepticeye

27 - paper

sean hadn't been in school for 2 weeks. not a single soul had heard off of him. everyone had suspected that he was expelled for attacking greg in maths, not like they cared anyway. it was like everybody had forgotten about him. ethan was the only one who cared now.

the hate his friends had for the boy grew stronger and stronger every day. felix had manipulated mark and tyler into joining his side, so now ethan was the only one who wasn't against sean; but of course he didn't voice that. if he did he was certain he would be cast aside. ethan knew that no matter what anybody said or did, he would not give up on sean at any point. he really liked him. he...loved him.

the boy sat in his last lesson, bored as anything, staring at the clock just waiting for it to be over. he put his hands in his pockets and fumbled them around when he felt something. he pulled the item out. it was a piece of paper with an address on it. it was sean's address. ethan remembered that sean had given it to him the morning after the party; it was the day that they talked the whole thing out. ethan glanced at the clock once again to find there were 15 minutes left of the lesson. he put the piece of paper back in his pockets and looked down at his desk. he'd made up his mind. he would visit sean after school.

when the last bell of the day rang ethan jumped out of his seat and rushed outside, not even bothering to say goodbye to his friends. most days he didn't now. he hurried to the bike stands and grabbed his own, hopping on it quickly. before he set off he took out his phone and messaged his mother to say he would be getting home a little late that day. he put his phone away and began to peddle past the other students and teachers. 

as he peddled he entered deep thought. he thought about how selfish he was to think that everything would get ruined for him after the kiss, when really it was sean who lost everything. when it first happened he was so busy thinking about what would happen to him that he never stopped to think about the consequences sean would have to face. 

he hoped that sean was alright. he prayed for him. and he hoped that both him and his mother would be okay with him showing up with no warning. god would it be embarrassing if they didn't let him in. 

ethan had peddled so fast that he got to sean's house within a few minutes. his legs were aching now and his hands were red from gripping onto the handles so tight. he jumped off his bike and walked it with him to the front door of the house, summoning all of his courage to knock on the door. for quite a while, there was no response. they had to be inside since the car was in the driveway. maybe they hadn't heard the door. or maybe ethan was being ignored.

he was about to knock on the door again when he saw it swing open. it was not sean that had opened it, but ethan wasn't sure if he was happy or not about that. sean's mother stood there with a smile that looked slightly forced.

"hi again. ethan, right?" she asked. the boy nodded and was shocked that she remembered.

"you want to see sean?" she asked, the happy tone in her voice fading as she spoke.

"yeah, if thats okay. I just wanna see if he's alright." she smiled and nodded.

"that's very sweet of you ethan. wait there, i'll go speak to him." ethan nodded and saw the door get shut in his face. he waited for about two minutes before sean's mother came back.

"he's in his room. you can put your bike around the back whilst you're inside." ethan nodded and thanked the woman, putting his bike where she had instructed before stepping inside and closing the door behind him. he took off his shoes and placed them by the welcome mat like he did the last time he was there. he thanked the woman before making his way up the stairs gradually. with every step he climbed he took a deep breath. soon enough he was standing outside of sean's bedroom door. he knocked on the door and heard an incredibly tired sean tell him to come in. he hoped he hadn't woken the boy up from a nap. ethan slowly pushed the door open and entered the room, resting his gaze on sean sitting on the bed.