feelings | cranksepticeye

25 - his father

it was time to have lunch which meant that the school day was very nearly over; just one more lesson to go. ethan was the last person to join his friends at the table as he had walked a little slower to see if he could see sean. he didn't catch him once. that meant he was either in the toilets again or he had stuck to his word from third period and gone home.

when ethan arrived, he was shaky. he didn't really want to be with them, the people against sean. he felt like he wasn't helping the situation just by hanging out with them. as soon as he sat down he was bombarded with questions. he didn't even get a hi.

"tell us what happened then!" felix cheered. ethan looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"what?"

"in maths? when sean literally stabbed someone with a pen? why did he do it?" wade continued. ethan sighed, knowing there was going to be no way to get out of this.

"greg started making fun of him. called him a loser and told him that nobody cares about him even being alive." everybody exchanged looks of confusion with each other.

"really? is that it?" they asked. ethan nodded.

"weird. he wouldn't normally flip out at something like that." mark commented, a short silence following. ethan then remembered the last thing greg said to sean.

"he said something about his dad. he said that he should follow in his father's footsteps or something like that." ethan finished, feeling done with talking. everybody looked at each other and for once since this whole thing started they all seemed to have empathy for the boy.

"now that makes sense..." mark mumbled, getting quieter and quieter as he spoke.

"you know...cheating bastard or not...greg shouldn't have said that to him." bob added with sympathy in his voice. why was everybody suddenly changing their minds?

"yeah. i feel kinda bad for the guy now." wade agreed. ethan didn't have a clue as to what was happening.

"me too." tyler chimed in. suddenly, felix slammed his fist down onto the table, something he did often when he was mad.

"who cares?! sean certainly doesn't! he just acts like he does to get sympathy from other people." he exclaimed angrily.

"now you know that's not true." mark argued back. the two had done a lot of arguing on that day.

"can someone fill me in?" ethan asked. completely oblivious to what they were referencing. they all glanced at each other, silently deciding who should talk. eventually mark sighed and turned his attention towards ethan.

"sean's dad...isn't around anymore. he died when sean was eight." ethan didn't know about this. he had no idea. when he visited the boy's house he had noticed that his father wasn't there but he just assumed that he was at work or his parents weren't together.

"oh my...how?" ethan asked.

"suicide." the boys answered in unison. now it made sense. ethan could now understand why sean got as mad as he did. not only did greg tell sean to kill himself, but he did so whilst making fun of his dead father.

"oh..." ethan didn't know what else to say. he just kept thinking about sean and how bad he felt for the guy.

lunch passed quickly and it was time for period 5, the last lesson of the day. this lesson was english, which sean was supposed to be in. ethan waited in the back of that classroom for him, seeing if he would turn up. he stared at the door endlessly, waiting for somebody to open it. but nobody ever did. sean never arrived. he really had gone home.

for a long time.