feelings | cranksepticeye

22 - partner

sean rushed into a shower cubicle before they all filled up with other lonely and insecure students. normally he would stand with his friends and talk to them as they changed into their kit, but now he didn't have them to talk to. now he was one of the lonely ones.

for whatever reason a lot of the students weren't in class on that day, so the changing room was quiet, quiet enough so that sean could actually hear everybody's conversations, including his old friendship group's. they were discussing what was on the timetable for their gym lesson. he knew it was wrong to eavesdrop on other people's conversations, but he couldn't help it when they were pretty much all that he could hear.

"we're on tennis today, meaning we'll be put in to partners. tyler, i called dibs on you." sean's predictions were already proving to be correct as he heard mark claim tyler to be his partner.

"i'm with wade. that was already settled years ago." bob chimed in. 

"i'll go with ethan then." felix replied.

"ethan isn't in our class, remember?" mark reminded him.

"oh yeah...i was wondering why he wasn't here...well then who am i with?" sean could already sense that his name was going to be brought up. he just knew it.

"who you normally go with." bob responded.

"not sean. i'm not going anywhere near him." the boy's heart sank lower as he finished getting changed and putting his clothes in his school bag. even though he wasn't with felix anymore, it still hurt to hear him say that.

"if everybody else has a partner you're going to have to." tyler pointed out. 

"no, i won't. i'll just join you and mark and we'll be a group of three."

"that won't work. he'll notice sean on his own, notice us in a three and get you to go with him anyway." sean could hear the irritation in tyler's voice. his patience was beginning to run out.

"can't one of you guys go with him? you said you're still his friends!"

"with the way he spoke to me in chemistry, i don't think he'll have bar of me." was mark's excuse. sean knew deep down that mark despised him, that he didn't want to go with him because he just genuinely didn't like him.

"okay...tyler, why don't you go with him?"

"i told you i wouldn't go with him again after the last time. he started an argument with me for no reason. i feel like he'll punch me if i go over to him." felix let out a huge sigh and groaned. 

"i'll just tell the teacher that we're on really bad terms." 

"you realise he won't give a shit right? like he literally won't care." mark argued. there really was nothing felix could do about this.

"just don't speak to him and put in as little effort as possible. or you could be all mr nice guy just to fuck with his head." bob suggested, to which wade laughed. sean rolled his eyes and stepped out of the cubicle, assuming that they would stop talking about him if he did. but they didn't even notice him, and just carried on like he wasn't in the room.

"i can't stomach the idea of even pretending to be nice to him. although, it would be quite funny." felix replied. sean saw mark turn around and pick up his stuff angrily, placing it on the coat hook.

"no, it wouldn't. you guys are acting like dicks. you're getting worse than him." the three boys who were previously laughing and making fun decided to be quiet and stop.

"sorry..." they all apologised to which mark said it was fine. sean smiled weakly. it was nice to hear mark sticking up for him like that, even if he was convinced the boy hated his guts. soon enough it was time to go into the actual lesson. people were already standing with their assigned partners, so they didn't have to move when the teacher asked them to find somebody to go with. sean stood on his own near the back of the hall, hoping he would go unnoticed. felix ran over to mark and tyler to join them.