feelings | cranksepticeye

9 - invite

it was lunchtime, and the boys were all sat at their usual table in the cafeteria; obviously with one addition, that addition being ethan. they all sat and talked about things that teenage boys do, whilst ethan just observed, and would only add input when he was spoken to, or when he felt it was absolutely necessary. seán was also being quiet. awfully quiet. it was incredibly unlike him.

"you're not talking much. you ok?" ethan heard felix ask seán. ethan was sat on one side of seán, whilst felix was sat on the other side, so he could hear their entire conversation.

"yeah, i'm fine." the nearly silent boy replied.

"come on, i know when you're lying. just talk to me." the two were now having their own conversation whilst everybody talked over them.

"i can't."

"why not?"

"because you'll hate me." there was a hint of sadness in his voice. seán looked down, not able to even look at his own boyfriend as he spoke to him.

"you know that's not true. i could never hate you. i promise." felix replied, reaching out his arm to wrap it around the sad boy, but then remembering they were in school, and he couldn't.

"is this about what happened yesterday? after school?" felix asked. ethan became more intrigued.

"yeah..." seán replied. something had happened after school? what happened?

"i told you it's fine to feel like that. it's probably because we haven't seen each other in so long, and that's why it felt weird. i wouldn't worry about it too much. in about a week you won't feel like that anymore." seán smiled and looked back up at his boyfriend, thanking him. he was about to say something else when something was slammed down onto their table.

"hello there gentlemen...and mark." a tall boy with brown hair and stubble was leaning on the table, a piece of paper in his hand. ethan hadn't seen him before, but everybody else knew who he was.

"what do you want ken?" mark asked. the stranger smiled and passed the piece of paper over to mark. he retrieved it, and read what was on it, placing it back on the table when he was done.

"i want you guys at my party on saturday. starts at 8, ends whenever you decide to leave. my parents aren't home, i've got some kegs, and so many hot girls are going. it's gonna be fucking lit." everyone on the table exchanged looks with each other and rolled their eyes.

"not to be rude but do you remember what happened at the last party we went to of yours?" tyler asked. ken shook his head.

"somebody was pushed out of a third story window." tyler informed him.

"it was an accident." ken replied.

"the police were called."

"they didn't do anything!"

"the kid's parents tried to sue your family."

"it didn't work."

"the kid nearly died!"

"but he survived in the end." everyone rolled their eyes again and sighed.

"we'll come to your stupid party." seán muttered, grabbing the paper and throwing it back at ken. he smiled and fist bumped the air. he thanked the guys before walking over to the next table to torture them for two minutes.

"who was that?" ethan asked. the only thing he had picked up about him was that his name was ken, and he lets people fall out of windows at parties.

"ken. he's nice enough but damn can he be annoying sometimes." felix answered.

"he's always throwing huge parties when his parents are out of town. it makes him feel important." bob continued.

"are we actually gonna go to the party or did you just say that to make him go away?" mark asked, directing the question at seán.

"i said it to make him go away...but i guess we could go if we've got nothing else to do." he replied. everyone conversed and then agreed on going to the party on saturday.

"you coming?" mark asked ethan. ethan looked around at all of the faces staring at him, waiting for an answer, and gulped.

"um...parties aren't really my thing..." he replied, twiddling his thumbs.

"they can be surprisingly fun if you stick with the right people. just stay with us and you'll be fine." mark advised.

"yeah, it's not like we're really gonna talk to anyone else anyway. we like staying in our own circle." wade continued.

"i dunno...i'm too awkward for stuff like that..." that's when seán turned to ethan and put a hand on his arm.

"i used to be just like you: hella awkward. i didn't want to socialise or go to parties either. but i kept getting dragged to them by these lot and i got used to being around other people. now look at me; i'll talk to pretty much anyone without hesitation. so, really, that's no excuse." seán smiled and ethan couldn't help but smile back. that small, heartfelt speech was enough to sway ethan's way of thinking.

"alright...i'll go." everyone on the table cheered, including seán.

"you'll be fine. don't worry about it." he said, removing his hand off of ethan's arm. his heart sank a little at the absence of his touch.

"thank you." ethan replied. suddenly, the bell for next period rang. everybody was getting up and getting ready to go to their lesson. seán swing his bag over his shoulder and stood up, turning towards ethan.

"come on new kid. it's time for history."