Foreign

Chapter 23

"Charlotte? Are you okay?" Josh's voice is so gentle as if talking to a baby. I can hear the pity in his tone.

I don't want to see anyone but I have to reply.

"Not really but I just want to be alone if that's okay." I hate the way my voice breaks and I hate how fragile I sound.

"Okay honey," Brody replies. "We're here for you. Text us if you want us to come over."

The next morning I wake up, still on the floor. My face feels swollen because I cried myself to sleep last night. I cried for hours. I wrap a blanket around my shoulders and walk to my balcony. My back hurts from sleeping on the floor. The view is as nice as ever but somehow I can't see it or appreciate it. The outside world seems dull and not as bright as it once was. My world fell apart last night. The future I thought I had is gone. I won't make the same mistake as last year. I will talk to Hero this time and hear him out but I know deep down that won't make any difference. Melany will always stand between us. The only reason I will let him explain is because I know it'll make him feel better. I don't want him to turn into this depressed ghost and fuck up his film. I need to listen to him and let him go. But not today. Probably not this week. But soon, when I'm ready. We have a day off today and I'm grateful. I don't want to go downstairs, I don't want to see anyone. Everyone has probably heard by now what happened. I don't want to see the pity in their eyes. I'm so lost in my pain and thoughts that I'm startled when there's a knock on the door. I sit very still, not sure what to do.

"Charlotte, it's me, Josh." I let out my breath with a loud sigh. I hadn't realised that I was holding it. I walk to the door and let him in. He has a platter with food and coffee.

"Thanks for the coffee," I mumble. I walk back to the balcony.

"I know how much you love your coffee."

We drink our coffee in silence for a while. I'm grateful that Josh isn't pushy. He just lets me enjoy my coffee in silence without asking me a million questions. I know I owe him an explanation. He's worried about me.

"So." I start.

"So." He smiles at me. "Am I finally going to hear what happened last night?" My helpless eyes look into his beautiful blue eyes. For the first time I see how thick and dark his lashes are. I look away.

"I'm not sure really.. I went to is room and she opened the door in her underwear. Her hair was all messed up as if they just.. you know.. next thing I know he walks out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist."

Josh whistles. "What did you do?"

"Nothing really," I sigh. "Now I wish I had slapped her but I was frozen. All I could do was stare, drop the beers on the floor and run away."

"I do wish you had slapped her."

"I know."

"What did he do?"

"He just looked shocked and then he started pounding on my door."

"He's an asshole."

"I should have seen this coming."

"How could you?!"

"I don't know.. something always felt off with them. Last year I let him convince me that there were no feelings between them but now I'm not sure. I know he hates that she has no friends and I know he wants to be her friend. It's hurting him to have to choose between us. I knew something was off when he didn't text me during these past few weeks."

"He didn't text you?" Josh sounds surprised.

"No," I sigh and stare at the water. "I mean, he did text me sometimes but not a lot."

"That's odd. He's always playing with his phone."

"I know." There's a silence for a while. We're both thinking about Hero and Melany.

"What happened last year?" Josh carefully asks. I look at him with a frown on my face.

"Why?"

"I feel like I can understand this whole situation better if I know what happened." And so I tell him the whole story. The part I didn't tell him last time. Josh is a really good listener. He doesn't speak when I'm silent, searching for words. He lets me tell my story at my own pace.