Foreign

Chapter 51

I sit down on my balcony and I think about babies. Suddenly I feel surrounded by them. Jack and Lizzie's babies, Hero's baby... Funny thing is, thinking about Hero as a godparent makes my heart melt. He'll be terrific with the babies. They'll love him and they will look so cute when they play together. But when I think about his baby, it makes me sick. And then it dawns on me... that's probably why he is so mad! Us being godparents will probably cause problems between Hero and Melany. I bet he counted on me to turn it down but instead I accepted and now we'll be in each other's lives forever. Melany will be so pissed! Then again, I'm pissed too. I don't want my godchildren to grow up next to Melany's baby. Hopefully Melany will stay in America with her baby. I won't be able to handle it otherwise. I know it's selfish but I don't want to see Hero's baby. The baby with another woman. I sigh. I need to keep busy. I take my laptop and try to get some work done.

I snap out of my concentration when my phone rings. It's Josh. I smile and pick up the phone.

"Hey baby," I say. "Finished for today?"

"Yes! Where are you? I can't wait to see you!"

"I'm in my room!"

We hang up and I walk to the door to open it. I walk back to my balcony and stare at the lake. Josh walks in five minutes later and his hair is still wet from the shower he just took.

"Hi gorgeous," he says smiling. "I've missed you today!"

He walks up to me and wraps his arms around me. He presses his full lips against mine and I ruffle my hands through his hair. The butterflies flutter in my stomach and for the millionth time I'm grateful for Josh. I'm grateful for the way he makes me feel safe and secure.

"How was the picnic?" he asks. He sits down on the lounge chair and pulls me on top of him.

"Well, I have some exciting news!" I pause for effect.

"Tell me! Don't make me wait!" Josh smiles.

"Lizzie is pregnant!"

"That's great news! She must be really happy."

"She's expecting twins!"

"Wow, seriously? That's some big news indeed!" Josh says. "How is she feeling?"

I'm happy that my boyfriend is sharing my enthusiasm and that he cares about my friend.

"She has been feeling awful but the sickness should pass soon. They're over the moon, obviously!"

"Yeah, I bet! Wow, we should celebrate!"

"I have some other news too," I say in a mysterious tone. "They asked me to be godmother!"

"Congratulations!" Josh cheers and gives me a kiss.

"They asked Hero to be the godfather, that's why they wanted to speak to the both of us."

Josh is silent for a second and I can see his enthusiasm fade.

"So, you'll be godparents together?" he asks.

"Yeah.. I know it's not ideal but it's not like we'll see each other that often."

"Are you sure about that?"

The jealous tone in his voice surprises me.

"Yes! They'll go back to Wales soon and Hero stays in the US most of the time. So yeah, I'm pretty sure I won't see him every day."

My angry tone makes his expression go soft again. He doesn't seem mad anymore.

"I'm sorry, you're right!" He places a kiss on my head.

We're silent for a while. Did we just have our first argument? If that's the case then I'm relieved. The arguments I had with Hero were so bad every time. We didn't just argue, they would always turn into this massive fight. This one was okay.

"So, how about a celebratory dinner for the new godmother tonight?! Of course, Lizzie and Jack can join us!"

My stomach drops. Scratch that last thought. This will definitely turn into a massive fight. Josh is so sweet and he means so well and now I have to tell him that I'm having dinner with my friends and my ex.

Josh notices my hesitation.

"Is something wrong?" he asks. He tilts my head up and forces me to look at him.

"No, not exactly wrong but..." I'm searching for words.

"But what?"

"Well.. Lizzie and Jack invited Hero and me for dinner tonight. You know, to celebrate."

"You just had a picnic with them!" Josh starts to raise his voice.

"Yes, but that was to tell us about the pregnancy and to asks us to be godparents."

"Picnic for lunch, dinner together... so far for not spending time with Hero. The babies haven't even arrived yet and you're with him all day!"

Josh jumps up and I fall down.

"Jesus, watch out!" I say and stand back up.

"Hero will always stand between us, won't he? He'll always be in your life!"

"Only if you let him. Lizzie, Jack, Hero and I are friends. We've been through a lot together, we lived together! So of course, Hero and I will always play a small role in each other's lives."

"I'll never be part of your group, will I?" Josh asks. "We'll never share that history and now you'll always have a deeper connection through those babies." His voice is cold.

"Don't be such a drama queen!" I scream. "Yes, we have history and memories! But we could make some new ones!"

My screaming somehow does the trick and he calms down.

"I'm sorry, I'm just.."

"Jealous," I finish his sentence.

"I'm just afraid that you'll go back to him."

This makes my heart melt. I walk to him and wrap my arms around his neck. I look him straight in his beautiful eyes.

"That won't happen. I promise."

I kiss him and I pray that we're okay again.