Our Inner Demons

Chapter 29

"I'm so glad we finally went out. She is getting more and more obnoxious every time." Sabrina said after we gave our orders to the waiter in a coffee shop near the church.

Sabrina seemed to like what she saw while the waiter was walking away from our table. Jake noticed that.

"Just ignore her." He said.

"How am I supposed to do that?" She faced him supporting her head with an elbow.

"Same way you're ignoring me and looking at that waiter right now. It's obviously not that hard." He looked away.

"Wait, what are you trying to say? That I like him? I have eyes, I'm gonna use them. If you're jealous that's your problem."

"Come on, guys, we came here to relax after that ear trauma. Can you not do that?" Connor was exhausted.

"Don't tell me, tell him."

"So, Celestia..." Jake started. "How are you?" I looked at Sabrina knowing full well she notified him about what I told her yesterday. Other's knowledge about the situation that I am in brought me relief, because I wasn't in a mood to give any explanations but it also gave me a feeling of having even less privacy than before.

"Not bad. Although I will be. Soon."

"I can't believe you're accepting your fate so easily. Why don't you fight against it?" Sabrina spoke and it seemed as if her voice was hiding a lot of agonising feelings.

"I did, Sabrina. But there's nothing anyone can do anymore. And I accept that. You should too."

"But I just met you... I've never had a friend like you. Do it for me."

"I wish I could..."

"But... There has to be something..." She was persistent.

"Look, she told you there's nothing she can do, didn't she?" Connor was already fed up listening to her. "That's how it is." He obviously had a hard time dealing with the situation himself and the last thing he wanted was to be constantly reminded of me slowly vanishing before his eyes.

Although he knew the day was coming and it was nearer each second, he still didn't wish to prepare for it in any way or say his goodbyes. He believed that what needs to happen will happen and I loved his way of thinking, it showed me how he might not be that heartbroken after I leave him after all. Although deep down we both knew it was nothing but an act. And I could never say I am leaving him, because this is not voluntary in any way.

"I only thought... Oh, I will miss you if you leave." Her eyes got watery. I had to keep reminding myself we were in a public place just not to start sobbing.

"When." I smiled. She seemed shocked of how easily I was accepting this faith. But I had no other choice. Otherwise I would simply go insane.

"The way you speak about it makes it worse..." None of us were comfortable. The cafe was not exactly the right place to have this kind of a conversation, but the time was right because it was the only thing I was running out of so quickly.

"I wish I didn't ask anything." Jake said. He rarely liked these types of conversations about relationships and friendship. It seemed like he was heartbroken in the past, although there were a lot more signs to confirm that.

"No, I am glad you asked. Not talking about it will not make it go away. Either way, the pain is inevitable."

Sabrina was stunned by my choice of words, and how easily I have made peace with my own destiny. But little did she know that was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I still lacked courage to take matter in my own hands, as I always had when it came to certain things. But this required no effort on my part, only drifting away in a peaceful manner that I wished to be remembered by.