Never forgotten ON HOLD

Chapter 30

I heard him sigh as he ran his hands down his face.  Whatever it is must be bad. 

"Im so sorry Lena. Nikki is knowone special. Yes... I went to her house but it's because I was scared. Lena, I have feelings for you. I am terrified of those feelings. Thats why I went  to Nikki's. I wanted to see if my feelings for you were real. The only thing we did was make out until I realized the feelings were real. She wanted to go all the way but I just couldn't.  I really like you Lena. I was scared but now I'm not"

"Why were you scared???" I ask.

"Well... before you moved down here I was a player. I was like Shawn. We were actually friends. Well one day I placed a bet on this girl. I was supposed to make her fall in love with me in a month.  Well my plan backfired and we both ended up falling in love. I told the guys I was done and they got pissed but left me alone. I ended up telling her about the bet and she wouldn't talk to me for two weeks until she forgave me but she made me promise to not turn into a player ever again and I agreed. Well we were then madly in love and one day she got in a car accident and died on impact. I got mad. I didnt talk to anyone. Len finally got me better and I havent dated since."

I wanted to hug him but the only thing I did was say," Im sorry."

He nodded and then after a long silence he finnaly said," Lena I really like you. And... I know there is something wrong with you."

I gave him a shocked look.  Did he know??? Oh I hope not.

"Umm... what do you mean???"

He gave me a look and said," I know something is up with you. I dont know what exactly but I know it has to deal with your dad."

"There is nothing wrong with me! Why would you assume that??"

"So it does have to do with your dad."

"I didnt say that! "

"You didnt denie it ether."

"Well there is nothing wrong with me."

I could tell he was gettting aggrivated,"Why cant you just tell me?!?"

"There is nothing to tell..."

"Yes there is. I can tell!"

"How can you tell??" I ask

"By the way you got when you were drunk! By the way you acted that one day for no reason."

"Everyone has their moments."

"You seem to have alot of them."

"Yess. I do have a lot of moments. Why?? Because of all the crap that I have dealt with. I cant tell you."

"Why??"

"I have trust issues Ivan. The only other person that knows except for my family is Sam and maybe even Derek. I have known her for what feels like a life time. Im sorry I wont tell you but I know I will eventually. When Im ready to. I dont want you or anyone else feeling sorry for me. I dont want attention for the wrong reasons. Im truly sorry Ivan." I then get up and walk out of my room. I come downstairs and I hear Sam, Derek, and Tolem  talking. 

"Hey sis." I tap his head and he swaps my hand away from me.

"What are you guys gonna do tonight??" I ask.

"Tolem and I are going to a party at that warehouse place tonight." Derek says.

"Tell Freck I say hi. I havent seen him in forever."

"Sure."

"What about you Sam??"

"Going to Brewsters with everyone else...  are you coming??"