Tissues - Logicality AU

Ch. 7 - Safe

Patton's p.o.v.
*tw: Display of mental and physical abuse. Suggestive sexual abuse
                 

* I walk into my dorm after the carnival. I'm still smiling as I think of the wonderful night I had with Logan. I set my keys down on the small table by the door and turn on the light. Dan is sitting at the desk between Virgil's and my bed. He turns to face me. 

"Hey, sunshine. I heard you had a good day today."

I smiled, but guilt surged through my body. Hanging out with Logan today felt less like a 'fun day as friends' and more like a date. I held my plush close to my chest as my heart began to race. He stood up and walked closer to me. 

"You love him, don't you."

"N-no! Dan i-it's not like that, I swear! I love you!"

"How could you do this to me?! Cheating on me like this?!" His voice rose as he got angrier. I flinched and immediately began to cry. 

"I-I didn't--no-nothing happened! I-I swear!" 

"STOP CRYING!" He yelled in rage. I felt myself stop breathing. The tears kept falling down, but I didn't say a word. 

"You don't get to play the victim, Patton. You don't EVER get to tell me you're innocent. You're lucky I don't just dump you right here, right now."

"N-no! Dan, please don't! I promise I-I'll stay away from him. I'll never see him again, just--just don't leave me!" I fell to the floor and began to sob. Dan quickly walked over to me and grabbed me by the hair, making me face him. I whimpered, but met his eyes. I knew that if I didn't the pain would be worse. 

"You. Are. Mine. Do you understand me? MINE." He spat in my face. I closed my eyes and nodded, feeling a few more tears fall down my face. He yanked my plush out of my hands and ripped it in half over and over again, the stuffing falling all over the floor. I felt my heart break a little bit more every time I heard it rip. 

"Now, do you want me to accept your apology?" 

I looked down at the floor and nodded. 

"Well, you've got to earn it." 

I flinched. I knew exactly what that meant, but I didn't want to. He saw my hesitation and kneeled down to my, grabbing my face to make me face him. 

"What? You want to be forgiven, don't you?"

I nodded. "I...I-I do.." 

He smirked and began to kiss me violently. He picked me up and threw me on the bed. I didn't want to do this. I-I didn't...I don't. 

He crawled onto the bed and loomed over me and began to kiss me again and again. I don't feel sad anymore, I don't feel anything. I've gone completely numb. I'm not surprised though. This happens every time. It's like he sucks the life out of me. 

But...I know he's not trying to hurt me. I'm just being selfish. He just wants me to remember that I'm his. Which I am. I'll always be his. I'll never escape.

Still, I close my eyes and tune it out. I go to a place where none of this was happening and I was still safe with Logan. 

* (If you read that I'm so so sorry. That hurt me as much as it probably hurt you)

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I shot up and looked around quickly, confused and afraid. I soon realized I was in my dorm, but I still didn't feel safe. I turned on the light on my nightstand, my hands shaking violently. I looked around, expecting to find Dan by my side. 

Thankfully, no one was in my bed except for me. However I saw Virgil sit up from his bed--wait. Virgil wasn't here, so could that be Dan? My heart began to race and I couldn't hold it in any anymore. I began sobbing, holding my head, trying to get any thoughts of Dan out. 

I felt someone sit down beside me on the bed. They put their arms around me and rubbed my back, whispering soft, comforting words to me. 

"It's alright, Patton. It was just a nightmare. You're safe now."

I recognized the voice to be Logan. I wrapped my arms around him and clung onto him like he was the only thing keeping me alive. He held me in his arms the entire time I cried, until I had calmed. My sobs eventually turned to shaky breathing. 

"S-Sorry.." I whispered. It was all I was able to say. 

"There's nothing to be sorry for." He said simply. 

I moved out of his arms and wiped away my tears. I noticed that I was still in the same clothes from the carnival and so was Logan. I stood up and went to the closet, grabbing my pajamas. Before I could even ask, Logan turned his back to me and faced the wall. I mentally thanked him and quickly got dressed. 

I looked at the alarm clock beside Virgil's bed. The clock read 2:30 am. I felt guilty for waking Logan up in the middle of the night. I climbed back into bed and Logan looked at me. 

"Would talking make you feel better?" He asked, trying to help. 

I shivered. Just recalling the nightmare reminded me of too many memories that I'd rather forget about forever. I shook my head quickly. "N-no..just...please stay with me." 

Logan nodded. I climbed back under my covers and Logan sat beside me. He stayed above the covers but lied down beside me. I put my hand out, desperate for something to focus on. He took my hand and squeezed it. I decided to focus on that. On him. 

On his soft, warm hands. His face that lit up every time we were together. His amazing and kind hugs that never fail to calm me down. He would never judge me for anything, even when I deserve it. 

He makes me feel safe. 

And as I begin to drift back to sleep, all the bad memories seem to go away. 

All that's left is him. 

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(WOW I'm a monster. That was seriously depressing and legit almost made me cry. I'm sorry that was so depressing. Anyyyways, I hope y'all didn't hate that. Even if it was...themostdepressingthingiveeverwritten. -Manzana)