avengers imagines

mean it || bucky barnes

requested imagine for SebearStan

Small talk, no conversation
That look makes me impatient
I can't tell what you're thinkin'

"hey, bucky." you said awkwardly. "hey." he forced a smile while putting a single drop of creamer into his coffee.

i made myself some coffee, too. normally bucky would make some for me. but today he just, didn't.. i sat down across from him. he looked at me for a quick second, looking away when i made eye contact with him.

he stared at the handle of his coffee mug, deep in thought.

Please tell me what you're thinkin'
Last night we were more than fine
Just tell me if you changed your mind
If you changed your mind (mind)

i have no clue what he's thinking about. what's going through that head of his. last night we were fine.

right before..

[flashback to last nighttt]

"bucky?" i said, as we were both coming down from a laugh attack because of a joke.

"i.." i looked down sheepishly. say it y/n. say it, i thought.

"i love you." i blurted out.

no response.
no response.

"bucky..?"

no response.

"b-"

he cleared his throat. "um, i have to go- i, uh, goodnight, y/n." he said, closing the door behind him, leaving me with the most confused, yet saddest feeling.

[present]

sure, we've only been together for 7 months but i thought he felt the same.. 7 months only to just like me? was i the only one who fell? was he standing straight up the whole time?

'Cause I'm all, I'm all in
I'm callin', no answer
But you text me when you feel like
When it feels right to you

i thought it was real, y'know? i was all in. i thought bucky was the one. he was it for me. but i guess i was the only one that felt that way. i snapped back to reality when i heard a chair being dragged on the floor.

sebastian had finished his coffee and began heading straight back to his room.

and for the first time in a long, long time. i let a tear fall. two, three, six. quickly wiping them before anyone would think i was vulnerable.

i went back to my room shortly after bucky had left, not even touching my coffee.

i texted bucky, a simple "hey."

no answer.

one call. just one.

no answer
yet
no answer
and
no answer.

But I'm all, I'm all in
I'm fallin' faster
But if you're looking at me with a
Heart of doubt

i was ready to spend the rest of my life with him. some people just aren't ready. or don't want it. or both. reading bucky has always been hard, but at this moment, it's never been harder.

i'll never know what he's thinking. maybe he loves me and was too scared to tell me. maybe he doesn't even love me at all..