avengers imagines

• No Matter What || Sebastian Stan •

part two to "it's selfish, isn't it?" 🤪
slight mentions of eating disorder
~
sebastian's p.o.v.
"a- anezka..?" i said. i wasn't as surprised as i should've been. i could smell another man's cologne whenever she got home.

"sebby, care to join us?" she said seductively. she was drunk. i clenched my fists and my jaw, trying to stop myself from lashing out on both of them.

"you are a self conceited bitch." i spoke with disgust, making her chuckle. "don't pretend like you didn't know, hun. i got what i wanted and that's all. i always get what i want." she winked at me as the other man kissed her neck, causing her to moan.

"get the fuck out of my god damn house. i never want to see you again." i tried to sound tough, even though it hurts on the inside. if she didn't leave soon, i would break down infront of her. i can't let her know she did that to me, i can't let her get what she wanted a second time.

"figured you'd say that," she said, pushing him off and grabbing a robe. "i bought a hotel room for our.. business." she winked, dragging him out of the room and giggling.

as soon as i heard the door shut, i lost it. i screamed, squeezing my eyes shut. my head, my heart was pounding. "I LOST.. EVERYTHING!" i screamed.

knock knock
"dude, we were supposed to go to the game today! where were you-" chris said, cutting himself off when he saw my face.

"sorry. i'm sorry.." i said through my sobs. "what happened?!" chris kicked off his shoes then rushed towards me. "i lost anezka.. i lost y/n.." "how and how?" "anezka.. she never loved me. y/n? she- she always did. i threw away all that we had because of anezka. i- i" i could no longer talk, i was practically choking.

"you need to talk to y/n." chris demanded. "what?" my head shot up. no way. no way y/n would talk to me. after i hurt her? broke her heart? left her, AND chose anezka over her? no way.

"you have to, sebastian. you know she's the only person that'll make you feel better." he said, patting my back and giving me a sympathy smile. "she's not going to talk to me. hell, she probably hates me." "damn right." chris said, making me look at him with confusion. "but it's worth a shot. let me know how it goes." he said, and before i could say anything back, he left.

"damn it, chris." i sighed, picking up my phone. i knew y/n's number by heart, yet i typed the numbers ever so slowly.

there it is. that green, call button. press it, sebastian, my heart said. don't, my mind said.

the heart wants what it wants.

i pressed the green button.

ring ring
"sebastian?" she said, confused, yet hurt. "i- i'm sorry, y/n.." was all i managed to say. "let me guess.. she hurt you. cheated." she spoke. i sobbed, "yes.. yeah.. god, i'm such an idiot." i shook my head at how disappointed i was in myself.

"you're lucky." she said after moments of silence. "w- what..?" i replied. "you're lucky i promised you.. that i'd always be here for you. no matter what. oh, what would you do without me." she said, making me slightly smile.

flashback, 16 years ago ~
"damn it, sebastian! i said i didn't want to talk to you." y/n said through the phone. i stayed silent. "..sebastian?" i let out the slightest sob, but she heard.

"sebastian, what's wrong?!" she questioned. her annoyance went to worry. "i- i know i don't deserve you and i'm sorry.. but i need you. i need my best friend." i spoke through sobs.

"i'm coming."

flashback, two hours later ~
"thank you for coming y/n.." i said embarrassed. "of course." "why." i replied. "why what?" "why did you come. i.. messed up, and yet you still came." i spoke, tears threatening to leave my eyes once more.

"i'll always be here for you, sebby. no matter what, i can promise you that." she said. i held out my pinky. "and i promise i'll always be here for you, too. no matter what." she chuckled, before locking her pinky with mine.

present ~
"i'm coming," y/n said. "but that doesn't mean i've forgiven you. i'm just not gonna let you be alone, hurt." she said, hanging up.

y/n would go out of her way to see me, when, before, i didn't even want to see her.. she wasn't going to let me be hurt all alone, when i knew she was hurt and i did nothing. lastly, i know she loves me but i can't do anything about it. because i still love anezka, regardless of what she did to me.. to hurt me. it's not fair to y/n, that she loves me and i love someone else.

knock knock
i've been so lost in my own thoughts, i didn't realize y/n had texted me she's here.

quickly, i got up to answer the door. i saw y/n with puffy eyes, she's hurt. but, quickly, she pulled me in for a tight hug. just what i needed..

y/n felt like home. i missed her hugs, her. i'm nothing without her. i wish i could love her, i wish that more than anything, and i curse my heart for wanting a lying, cheating, monster.

"i'm sorry.." i whispered into the hug. "shh.." y/n said, rubbing my back.

2 hours later ~
i've finally calmed down, thanks to y/n. "here, i bet you're hungry." y/n said, handing me my favourite pasta. "thank you," i said, accepting it gratefully. "you're not gonna eat?" i questioned, taking a bite. "i.. uhm. i'm not hungry.." she said, putting her hands in her pockets awkwardly.

i knew y/n better than that. "when was the last time you ate?" "i don't know." "y/n, please answer. "two days ago." i almost spat out my food. "what?!" i said a little loudly, causing her to jump.

"i don't want to.." she said, backing away. "why are you doing this to yourself?" i said softly, not wanting to scare her off. "i want to be like her.." she whispered. "what?" "i want to be like anezka! she's skinny, pretty, i- i want you to love me sebastian!" she yelled, running off.

i wanted to chase after her, but i was shocked. i felt awful.. y/n would do this all for me..?

y/n's p.o.v. ~
i drove to jake's house since it was closer than mine. i didn't want to crash because of all the tears in my eyes. god, i'm so embarressed. i shouldn't have said that-

"y/n! come in!" jake said.

jake let me stay at his house for a while. 3 days, to be exact.

everyday, every hour, sebastian called. i've been listening to his voice mails, though.

today at 16:27pm:
⏮▶️⏸⏭
"hey.. i uhm.. just wanted to say that.. i don't know what to say, y/n.. i'm worried about you, please call me back. please don't do anything you'll regret. goodbye."

i wanted nothing more than to call him back.. but it's like, whenever we talk, i always get hurt. i'm afraid we- our friendship will never be the same. i don't want to lose him.. i can't.

1 week later ~
i've been avoiding sebastian for a while now. i'm at my own house, i'm a bit more stable.. i eat sometimes, which is.. good?

knock knock
i groaned, pausing the vampire diaries. i opened the door, shocked. "what are you-" i was cut off by a kiss. he asked for an entrance in which i accepted. i've been waiting for this.. forever..

slowly, we pulled away, breathless.

"sebastian?" "i had a whole speech that i forgot, wait.." he said. i smiled. that's my best friend. i thought he was gone..

"i remember now." i nodded for him to continue. "y/n.. i- i want to give us a try. no matter how it ends.. i..." it sounded as if he wanted to tell me he loved me. i pulled him in for another kiss.

"you don't have to say it now. whenever you ready." i said. he smiled, "so, y/n y/l/n.. will you be my girlfriend?"

without thinking, i replied, "yes!"

i have a really good idea for part 3, if anyone wants one:)