No One Knows: Arranged Relationship

Chapter 23: The Letter

Ilang linggo akong naghahanap ng sagot kung bakit niya ako iniwan.

Pinuntahan ko ang bahay nila ngunit wala akong nadatnan doon, tanging sinabi lang ng kanilang kapitbahay na ang Lola at Tita niya ay bumalik na ng probinsya.

Nag-drop out na rin daw siya sa school sabi ng mga kaklase niya. Deactivated na ung account niya sa Facebook at mukang hindi na niya ginagamit ang number niya.

Kung pwede lang ay sundan ko siya kung saan man siya napadpad ngunit may mga responsibilidad akong hindi ko pwede iwanan.

It's been a MONTH.

It's been a month since iniwan ako ng babaeng minahal ko ng sobra.

"Happy Birthday Jared!" Inabot saakin ni Mary ang isang paperbag, bilang regalo niya sa aking kaarawan, kararating lang niya dahil may outing kami at ininvite siya ng aking pamilya.

Hindi ko parin magawang magpakasaya ngayong kaarawan ko, laging may kulang.

Nanahimik nalang ako habang nagreready na sila at hindi yun usual para saakin.

May 3-day outing kami ngayon papuntang Batangas, kasama ang buong pamilya ko pati ang extended family.

Isama na rin natin si Mary na girlfriend ni Vincent.

Habang nasa sasakyan kami biglang may naitanong si Papa habang siya'y nagmamaneho.

"Anak, Bakit hindi mo isinama si Savannah? Birthday mo naman ngayon ah. Tignan mo si Vincent dala-dala girlfriend niya."

Hindi naman ako kumibo na tila wala akong narinig.

Pinalo naman ng mahina ni Mama si Papa. "Shhh..."

"Ayy... Sorry... Oo nga pala.." ,Tahimik na sagot ni Papa nang napagtanto niya ang nangyari.

Hindi naman masamang sabihin ko sakanila ang nararamdaman ko, tutal magulang ko sila at alam nila kung ano ang makakabuti saakin.

Mas mabuti daw na ipakita kong kaya kong mabuhay na wala siya. Naniniwala naman akong balang araw masasanay din ako sa ganito.

Hindi ko na siya kailangan hanapin at habulin pa, iniwan niya ako. Desisyon niya yon, kailangan kong respetuhin.

Baka nga daw may babaeng mas deserving para saakin, yung babaeng hindi ako kayang iwan.

Tatandaan ko nalang na si Savannah ay naging parte ng buhay ko at siya ang babaeng tutoong minahal ko.

"Ayy oo nga pala Jared, kaninang umaga may nag-iwan ng sulat. Para daw sayo." Inabot saakin ni Mama yung sulat.

"Mamaya mo na basahin yan nasa sasakyan tayo. Matulog muna tayo, malayo layo pa papuntang Batangas."

Mga ilang oras ang lumipas at natulog nalang ako.

Narating din kami sa aming family resthouse. Pumunta ako sa aking kwarto at inayos ko muna ang aking mga inimpakeng gamit.

Umupo ako sa aking kama at sinimulan ko nang buksan ang nilalaman ng sulat.

It's been probably a month since I left you. By the time you received this it's your birthday. Happy 20th Birthday Jared, I hope that you would find your own happiness without me. I believe that you can still win your happiness. You can move on, with all those pain and grieve and you're not the only one who's grieving. I felt more pain than you, because I was very stupid to left you and I didn't fight for you. Someday, you'll find right answer why I sacrificed my love for you. It was a big sacrifice, for the sake of another person. That person is someone you love. It would be better if I was the one who's suffering than him. You'll know who he was. Don't ever think or worry about me, I'm fine. I'm strong. I could get through this.

-SMCothran

There were no tears that dropped.

I didn't felt my heart falling into pieces.

But there were too many questions left unanswered.

Who she was referring to?

Why does she need to sacrifice her love?

How could I find the right answer?

I couldn't keep silent unless I'll solve these.

I placed the letter in my luggage at felt exhausted with the long travel.

Unknowingly, I fell asleep.

I dreamed about Savannah.

Savannah was seductively kissing me.

No, This is not her.

Her hands traveled in my body.

We smooched, I admit I responded with the kiss.

"Happy Birthday Baby Boy." I realized, It was not her.