Until You Give In

Chapter 9.1 - Can't I Love You

Ae's POV

"I said get in Ai Pete...don't make me say it the third time...", I felt him shivers, I know I'm being harsh to him right now, but I can't really control my emotions, I'm really trying to stay calm... I really do...but sadly I can't. I realized now how a fool I have been.

"Ae... Please....", I felt him tugging his hands, he's trying to get away from me...thinking this I unconsciously tighten my hands, I heard him hissed in pain, without me knowing I immediately let go of him.

"Ai Pete..." I could only say his name.

"Ae...I don't know what's the problem but please...you...you're...scaring me... Please...", my heart itch just with his soft voice like this. I don't know but it help me calm down just a bit. And it made me want to hug him. Without second thought I grab his arm and pulled him in my arms. I felt him tense up trying to get out of my arms, but I didn't let him, this time I tighten my hold around him, I can't let go... I wont let go...even if this world shatters now... I won't let you go.

"Ae...wh-", his gaze full of confusion.

"Ai Pete...I -, I wasn't able to finish my words when a ringing sound had start coming from his phone. He immediately stiffened. Sighing, I slowly release him, even with our limited distance I can still feel how warm and perfect he was within my arms.

" Its okay you can answered it Ai Pete", I reassured him.

He nodded and gently took out his phone from within his pocket. I noticed his subtle change in expression as he saw the caller ID, its slowly dawned on me.

"Daili....", he uttered softly.

Without me knowing his phone was already meters away. I could only feel the tingling and numbing sensation of my palm.

"Ae....?!", the way he looks at me its as if I have grown another head.

"Wh-why...?", he asked his face forming a frown.

"Don't...", I told him.

"Don't what..Ae? ". His voice shaky.

"Just don't..", I said firmly.

"Just tell me why are you like this...?", he insisted.

"I'll just buy you a new one na...",I tried to reason with him. Trying my best to smile.

"No... Ae... I... I can buy my own..", he said as he slowly walks towards his broken phone.

I grabbed his arm.

He looked at me with his unhidden expression full of hurt.

"Ae...Please let go...", he muttered.

"No."

"Please..."

"No."

"Jus-"

"I said NO!", I shouted.

"Why...?!",

"Its because..."

" Because what Ae...? ", he's staring right at me looking for answers.

" Because of that girl", I finally told him.

"Girl...you mean... Daili...?", his unsure voice full of confusion.

"Stop saying her name like that...".

"Like what...?".

"Like you..."

"Like...?"

"Like she's the only one in your eyes... Like you like her... Like you love her...!", I yelled at him my Ai Khun Chai.

"Ae!?" he was baffled by my sudden outburst.

"Isn't it true", I can't help but unintentionally taunt him.

"Ae stop this....you don't have the right".

"I'm right aint I", I insisted.

Stop it Ae...

"What do you know..." his voice silently echoes.

"What do I know...right....", I reach out to hold your warm and soft hands, yet they turn out to be cold.

Stop it Ae...

"Ae please I dont wanna fight not right now... Lets just talk when you are calm ok na". He tried to remain calm eventhough I can see him shaking.

"No." I breathe.

If this continue...

"Ae... Plea-"

Eventually...

"I LOVE YOU DAMMIT !"

"I love you that my heart feels that it might gonna burst out!

I love you that I want to say it for a million times!

Just so I can hear it...

Just so I can lessen this feeling...

It frustrates me...that I'm the only one thats feels this way...

You led me on...

I was blinded by you...

No...

Laughs

No...

No...

Ai Pete...

Can't I Love you...? ".

There it is my hopelessness.

Eventually...

You'll just succumb in this pit called Love...