Why Am I Here? I am lost

- Sinner -

"You want to fight?"

"No."

"I'll fight you if you want me to"

"I..."

"Then fight me then bitch, do it."

A brawl of torment echos back and forth between myself and a party of others

"Please stop"
"Please let him go"

They're talking about me

"Yes you! Because you're nice, too nice. You're too good for this world"
"You're a fucking little freak"
"You're a fucking freak"
"Now go kill yourself you little pussy"
"Pussy hahah that's funny"

"Why do you want me dead?"

"Homo"

"You aren't making any sense. As you never do..."

sometimes the voices take on and mimic the voices of my close ones. Friends, family, and others I have met before.

"You don't have or need friends"

"I feel I do."

"He said 'had' you fucking dick head!"

"'He, didn't. Idiot."

"Are you kidding me?"

"You just never listen"

"Yes he does"

"No he doesn't"

SHUT THE FUCK UP
STOP BULLYING ME
YOU KNOW WHERE I AM IF YOU WANT TO SETTLE WITH YOUR ANGER
I WONT BE HERE MUCH LONGER ANYWAYS TO PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT ANY LONGER
YOU NEVER STOP
NEVER
SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

"He's a good friend"

"No he's not"

"Keep your praying Sebastian"

"Do you hear him?"

"Yes, we can"

"He's just always here talking to himself"

"We've had enough of this shit"

THEN FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
HOLY FUCK
HOLY
HOLY
HOLY
HOLY
HOLY
HOLY
HOLY
Stop...
Please just stop.

Everything was too much to handle.
My mind quivering like a broken washing machine, jolting around the place. Side by side.
Almost like nothing could fix this broken part of me.

After a while of mental torment. My mind calms, and the scene of a young boy beside his bearded father appears in my mind.

|

Are you hearing voices in your head again?

Yes papa. I want them to leave papa.

Then make them leave.

But.. how?

You demand them to.

That doesn't work.

Yes it does. Try it.

What do I say to them?

"I banish you back to the darkest pit of the underworld where you came from, you vile demon!"

But how will I know it's gone, and not just another trick of theirs?

You'll know... you'll know it in your heart and mind. Trust me son. For I am always with you. Always. You'll always find me when you need me, if you trust in me. If you call upon me. I'll be there.

'The Evil One' is trying to take me away again

I'm not worried about that

But why? He's evil and he's trying to kill us all!

I have things under control.

Dad..

Trust me on this one. Now look outside

I don't wanna

Look outside now!

No

Please

Why?

Just do it! You still have time. Now go...

I still don't see anything papa

Look closer

I still don-

Closer

I see myself... papa I feel like a creep doing this, looking out of this window all of the time..

Do you care?

Yes.

Then close it.

*The window closes*

"You can go really far in this life. As well as the others. All you have to do, is have trust in me, faith in me, as well as yourself, and you shall be safe. You shall have the glory's of this world and for the world coming. Because I, myself, am coming for you.
For all of you."

Please hurry papa!!

Snap!

Back to reality.
Oops, there goes gravity.
I love Eminem

"What the fuck happened? What was that? Who were they? Was the young boy me? Who was that man? I feel... more relaxed. I feel..."
"..."
"..."
"Who was that?"

"I'm going back to bed"

So I slept, for the entirety of the day.

...that things will get better...