Yours, A.

3.

Kindly read my chapter called "announcement" before you move on.

March 5, 2020.

Dear D,
I think I'm finally calm enough to start writing in you again, but I won't stop crying, and I won't even try to stop crying until it just doesn't come naturally again.

The past months were agonizing for me, I just thank God that I had finished my final exams, or else, I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to take them. I couldn't go anywhere, anywhere. Even for my project, my supervisor was super understanding. He let me send in my chapters through my sister, and on one occasion, he came by the house to see how I was faring. My dad just let me stay at home, and in February, he started bringing in a therapist to our house.

I think I'm thankful for that, I probably would have just been stuck if he didn't come around. He helped me to understand some basic things about death. Oh, and he's a Muslim so of course, he did some faith and hope thingy too. And he tried to help me to understand that it was both his time to leave, and a test for me from God.
It's taking me so much energy, but I'm starting to accept and let go.

I started praying for him everyday, Muhammad, and I've started using past tense when his name appears in sentences.