Yours, A.

...in my mind!

Not edited!
Tuesday, 14th November, 2017.

Dear D,
Monday was very much surprisingly, not too stressful. Really surprising, cause none of my classes got cancelled, and I did relatively all I do on Mondays, and I realised, that it was because I wasn't paying so much attention to the fact that "Monday is stressful", and frankly, it's probably all in my mind!

I actually even cooked, and made Kawthar eat with me. The semester is getting really stressful for her, as they've started tests and she hasn't been eating well, so I made her eat.

What else happened yesterday? Oh yeah! I called Adeel cause I couldn't take it anymore. And when I complained, guess what he said? He said I was the one who suggested we talk less! Like, excuse me? When did talking less become not talking at all? Well, he apologized again, and we spoke for a really long time, and I filled him in on what was going on.

Today was Fareedah's birthday, and I felt so bad cause I didn't make it to her house to see her, but she kept on telling me to disregard it, and she couldn't celebrate it anyway, because what's there to celebrate? And I told her that she's alive is enough reason. Oh, she said she really loved my gift, as it got delivered very much earlier and she was really pleased.

Muhammad's birthday by the way, is on the 16th, 2 days to come! And his wristwatch was delivered to my roommate on Friday when I went to the mosque. Oh, and I finally got a pen. 'Aaishah came through for me, as she linked me up with someone that sold pens. Alhamdulilah I was able to get it, before my uncle passed away.
I'm so excited, I think I'd make Muhammad tell me who he likes on his birthday!

This evening, my mood swings was crawling in but guess who sent it back out? Me! Argh. I don't like acting up and snapping for no reason and I don't know how I did it, but I returned it back to where it was coming from.
I neglected the book Kawthar gave me since, I picked it up today and I'm wowed.

Oh, I also spoke to Adeel today, and I intend to speak to him tomorrow, and the next. Nothing is going to happen, I'm tired of all this holding back because I'm scared that "feelings" would surface, but what's the point? I have been taking Muhammad sinnceeee, and I don't have feelings for him, so what exactly?

My sister called me some minutes ago lol, and she was crying. I don't understand that lady anymore, she never used to cry, and now she cries like a baby every single time. Anyways, she called and when she was about to tell me why she was crying, I heard her husband's voice in the background mumbling that he didn't do anything to her, and she keeps blaming him for every single thing that he tries to do, to make her feel better.

Then, she said that he said she was becoming fat. Fat! Fat! I, for one, know that he would never say that to her, and I guess that she was the one who suggested it, and maybe he said something like "Oh yes dear, you do look a little bit curvier", and she's crying smh. Me I told her sorry but the person I actually felt sorry for, was her husband.

For the next how many months? He has to deal with this!

Yours,
A.