Yours, A.

...done!...

Not edited!
Saturday, March 3, 2018.

Dear D,
And finally! I'm done done with my exams, Alhamdulilah. I'm SO glad! They went well, but exams usually go well, until you see the results! I hope that I do really well, I studied HARD! I had to go sleepless nightsss, even though I stayed studying since we resumed.

Oh yeah, the last time I wrote here, I called Muhammad and apologized to him, and we settled it! And then he told me that he really liked Attiyah, but I shouldn't say a word about it as he doesn't want to think about it. And of course, I told him I liked Adeel too. And then he said he knew, and asked me what I wanted to do about it. I told him I just wanted to focus on my exams at that point, and I was not thinking about it.

I finished my exams last week, and I went home to pack my stuff. Yesterday, I came to my sister's house. I'm staying with her for the 3 weeks break, I want to do whatever I can to ease her condition. And oh, she's much better than she was! And her mother in law is going home tomorrow, as she's been here for more than a month now.

I didn't even sleep in the middle of the night goodness. We had some catching up to do. I was worried that she would be too tired to gist with me, but I was wrong! We talked the whole of the night and she ended up asking me to cook for her :)! I did it gladly, but I'm not sure about the next time. I made her noodles and she barely ate half of it. Lol. Both of us slept after we prayed fajr, and I woke up to aromaa! Her husband was cooking!

Total, God, when?!

Well, I helped him to round up and I had my own breakfast in my room. I told myself I'd try not to interrupt any of their moments, and be as invisible as possible when they need me to be.

I decided that I want to use the next three weeks to improve in my spirituality, memorise some verses, learn some Ahadeeth, read Islamic books and watch Islamic lectures. Basically, that's what I intend to do for the next 3 weeks.

Oh yeah, I spoke to Adeel after Dhuhr today, and I told him I liked him. Now before you start thinking stuff like why would I, as I'm the girl, hold up! Telling someone you like them doesn't make you less of a woman! It doesn't make you "desperate". If any man makes you feel desperate or bad, or take you for granted cause you tell him how you feel, he does NOT deserve you, and he's still a boy.

I believe strongly, that in fact, it makes you very much of a confident woman, and someone that's not scared to state exactly how she feels, instead of shying away, and all of that.

Anyways, I told him I liked him, a lot, and while he was saying some sort of things I didn't let him, I told him I was hanging up cause I didn't want to have the conversation. And I did. I mean, hang up.

Now that I think about it, I wish I listened to what he had to say, but I only told him cause I had to get it off my chest.

And I would try to fill in an entry everyday, at least, for the next 3 weeks, in Sha Allah!

Yours,
A.