...energy in me...

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October 19, 2017.

Dear D,
I was supposed to fill in yesterday, but I had this very bad mood swing that I couldn't bring myself to write. In fact, it's taking all the energy in me, right now, to be writing to you, as in total honesty, I'm not even in the mood. I'm just so happy today is Thursday, and tomorrow evening, I'm going back home (my cousins are coming over, they always light up my mood).

The day before yesterday, that's Tuesday, my classes were so annoying! The lecturer who missed a class on Monday fixed my one on Tuesday, and one who would be missing tomorrow also fixed one. It was really stressful for me and I feel like it's one of the things that made me angry, and in a bad mood. You won't imagine, after all the classes, our course advisor still ended up calling us for a meeting, and everything he said could have been sent through a text or something, pay your dues, pay your dues.

I have 3 pages all to myself, and it's so heartbreaking that I'm not even excited about it, I'd just tell you how yesterday and today went, and round it up.

Yesterday, I woke up in a bad mood already, and all I could do was force a smile plastered on my face while my coursemates said hi to me. It wasn't easy for me, cause I didn't want to talk to anybody but well, I also didn't want the whole world asking what was wrong. So, I just tried as much as possible to say hi, and slip into the shadows

Kawthar came to my room and cooked for us, though. I can't believe I wasn't actually going to say anything, lol. I wasn't going to eat when I wasn't fasting! Who would have thought? But Kawthar saw my mood and cooked lunch for me, even though I ate it at evening.

Today, thankfully, I had about 2 classes in the morning cause our lecturers had a meeting (about two cause we ended the class about 30mins into the 2nd one). I was super glad! I came back to my room to do my assignment and get my things ready for tomorrow. I also packed my stuff to take home with me, cause I'm not coming back until Monday and I want to do some night studying. I've slacked so much, I'm way behind my schedule and I have to meet up.

I started reading another book today, and I'm already halfway through. I'm usually quite a slow reader, but it's so interesting and I had to hasten my pace! Oh, and that's one of the reasons why I feel better enough to write in you today. I haven't been picking my calls, or replying my texts. I left my phone on silent and just read, taking breaks at intervals to pray. Oh, I bought food out, on my way back from classes, and I have not had anything to eat since then, aww, my stomach is grumbling.

I want to write poems so bad, but they're just not coming! It's really annoying that I'm super good with prose but poetry just seems to be out of it for me, and I want it so bad. I feel like poetry is much more deeper than prose and the fact that poems always have underlying messages get to me.
If I finally get to write a poem I'm not ashamed of, I'd write it in you in Sha Allah.

What else what else?
Oh!
Reminder : Give Adeel a call tomorrow.

He called me yesterday and cause of my mood, I acted up and snapped at him. I feel so bad cause he was trying to be nice, and I didn't even know what he wanted to say, tsk tsk. I want to get over this mood swing thing real quick, it's annoying.

I have some space left, I can use it for the next time ;)! Oh, and I feel so much better now.
Okay bye!

Yours,
A.

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