Off Ones Rockers II • Lashton

Chapter Thirty-six

Chapter Thirty-six

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It was not like Luke was at his best. There had never been more struggling in the week preceding his departure. But this had been the biggest leap into recovery they had seen from the blonde. He was confronting his fears head on, with a fresh perspective.

When he sat down for breakfast, lunch and dinner, which he choose to go to, the blonde found himself struggling to eat the food. He was allowing himself the opportunity to decide whether or not he wanted to eat it. And it might seem like regression from an outsiders perspective, but to those around him it was a step in the right direction. Internally anyway.

Barely consuming over seven-hundred calories in a week the blonde found himself weaker than ever. He did not have the resistance and determination he had when he was at his weakest. His body was used to food, and lots of it. He had gone from a surplus to a deficit.

So it didn't really surprise anyone when the small boy collapsed one morning on his way to breakfast. They were of course concerned, knowing the health implications. But, it was inevitable.

-

Luke groaned as he opened his eyes in a room unfamiliar to him. Feeling restricted by a couple of things attached to him. His eyes widened in shock. He had never thought he'd end up in this situation again. He looked around the room, expecting to see someone beside him but he was alone.

Slowly he hoisted himself up into a sitting position, and awkwardly swung his legs around to the side of the bed. He knew he was being irrational. But he wanted to know what happened. Why this had happened. He thought he was okay, that he was doing well. Everyone had been telling him that - that they had seen such an improvement.

His hand loitered over one of the drips contemplating whether to rip it out when he heard two low voices outside of the room. He kept his hand there, waiting to see if they passed, or entered.

Someone came through the archway. He was hoping it would be a stranger. But it was Alex, alongside Sid. Both looking alarmed by seeing the blonde awake and appealingly trying to get out of bed.

"I just wanted to know what was going on," Luke muttered, looking down at his bare feet. They were cold. "I don't understand."

Alex sighed, and went to help the boy back into the bed, telling him he shouldn't be moving about just yet, and fussing about whether he was in any pain or had difficulty breathing. Both of which he denied, watching Sid sit opposite him with his usual monotonous expression that made the blonde anxious. He liked to know what people were thinking about him, Alex made his obviously clear by his overt behaviour.

"What happened?" Luke asked again when he was at up in the bed. "I thought okay."

Alex chuckled slightly at the boys confusion. "You're far from okay Luke. You're doing a lot better. But if you think about the last couple of days you have let yourself suffer quite a lot physically."

Luke thought about it. Recalling what he had been eating. Not much. And he knew that. But he couldn't. And everyone told him that was okay. That he should take his time, but try to increase what he ate.

"Does this mean I can't go home?" he asked sadly, knowing that being here meant he was probably in some form of a critical position.

Alex shook his head. "We're going to postpone it by one week, that allows us more time to help you adjust to what your lifestyle could potentially be when you go home and hopefully allow you to become physically more stable. But this doesn't change anything Luke."

Luke looked back over at Sid, who hadn't said anything. Wondering why he was actually here. He just continued to watch the blonde, however.

Luke looked away uncomfortably and began to ask more questions alluding to how vulnerable he was right now. "What are these? Is it food? Do I really need them?"

No one answered him though, but Sid standing up caused the blonde to jump and shyly look over at him. As he left the room.

"Why was he here?" Luke whispered to Alex, who was sitting beside him.

Alex didn't have to tell the patient, but wanted to inform him to some extent on the situation. Knowing it was the best for some things to be told so he didn't get himself into a state of panic. "He's a little more experience than me in this field Luke, that's all. He sometimes sees things that I miss."

"What have you missed?" Luke asked eagerly, hating being analysed by people. He hated the subjectivity and impossibility of knowing what people were thinking.

Alex simply shrugged. "I don't know do I Luke if I've missed it."

"Do you think you've missed something?" the blonde asked, placing with the bracelet on his wrist, before allowing his fingers to wrap around his wrist. He smiled to himself knowing that he'd lost weight, a fair amount. He could tell. It had almost become a sixth sense to him.

The therapist watched him carefully. "I don't think I have Luke," he admitted sadly. "I think you're finally opening up to us, even though you don't realise it."

-

Entering Sid's room, Alex sat down on the sofa nearest to the window. The two not either looking at each other, knowing exactly what they needed to.

Alex stared out of the window, and the green space surrounding the ward. Everything was still, paradoxical to the chaos of his life and the building that was situated upon it. It reminded Alex that he needed to get out of the place more often, knowing it would clear his mind and give him a fresh perspective.

"Did he say anything else?" Sid asked, stilling typing away at his computer.

"Not really," Alex said, knowing nothing was of great importance. "He asked why you were there. But, he was measuring his wrist which is what most concerned me."

"He's certainly letting us know that he is still fixated on his body," Sid remarked, leaving a document and turning of his monitor.

"I don't think that is something to be worried about though. That's not really going to be something that escapes him. It's how he views it that he should be concerned about."

Sid hummed in response, picking up his coat. "I'm going for a walk," he said, indicating for Alex to come with him. Reluctantly Alex pushed himself up off of the couch and walked beside the older man.

"He's scared," Sid spoke up after a couple of minutes of silence. "But he knows. He knows what his body looks like. It's a different type of fear of this time. He's not scared of what his body looks like - not so much anyway - but of what his body will be like. He's restricting not starving."

Alex understood what he was saying. That they needed to be cautious of the blonde nourishing himself enough. "Do you think we should postpone it even longer - I just think he'll go back to how he was?"

Sid shook his head as he looked up at the sky, watching a lone bird circle in the sky. "I think this week we need to focus primarily on informing him of the importance of eating, and talking him through each meal, so when he goes home he's got that in his mind."

Alex looked around the vast empty space, crossing his arms slightly cold. He was afraid of what this was going to entail for his patient. He'd never felt like this before, but that was all due to his relationship with the boy's mother.

Sid looked over at the younger man knowing that he was worried. "There is a high chance that Luke will destroy his body again," he said straightly. But it was true, it was the nature of his disorder. "But that is a risk we are going to have take if we want to give him any chance of a future."

-

How is everyone??

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Thank you so much for reading.