Off Ones Rockers II • Lashton

Chapter Forty-two

Chapter forty-two

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It felt as if his heart was beating in his head. But, as Luke followed his mother into the doctor's room he tried his best to settle his nerves. Because he knew if he showed how anxious he was for a small interaction like this, there was no way he'd be deemed ready to go back to school.

And there was nothing Luke wanted more than to go back to school. He craved the routine, the ability to leave the house that he felt restricted in for so long. He just wanted his old life back again.

"How are you coping with settling in at home?" the doctor asked after he closed the door. He'd seen the blonde two weeks ago, this was going to be a fortnightly occurrence for a little while.

It had been for weeks since the blonde had been home now, and he was starting to get the hang of things. But, there was still a void in his life that he still didn't know how to fill.

"Okay," Luke agreed, looking down at his shoes, the same shoes he's worn for the past year - that has experienced every route he had taken in his life.

Liz gave his leg a gentle tap. "He's a little nervous." Luke's head shot up and glared at her, hoping to warn her to be quiet, but she carried on. "He wants to go back to school, you see. And we were hoping from today you'd be able to confirm if that's the best option.

The man looked over at Luke. He couldn't even communicate with his mother without a sense of panic, he didn't know how the young boy would cope being surrounded by kids his own age.

"Come and take a seat, Luke," he said gesturing to the bed. Luke did so, still trying to calm his mind. Looking back over at the boy's mother he continued. "Physically, I don't think there is any reason why I wouldn't oppose Luke going back to school. Is he still on a three-thousand plus calorie meal plan?" he asked, knowing that was what was currently written on his records.

Liz nodded. "We do have a meeting with his dietitian this week, and we were told it would be reduced now that he is at a more stable weight."

The doctor hummed in response strapping a band around the boy's arm to check his blood pressure. "With Luke not doing much, the calorie intake isn't really useful anymore. It's only going to cause excessive weight gain which is  not what we want for Luke. We want it to be slow and steady."

He looked at Luke and smiled knowing the information was bound to spark some fear. "It's all about maintaining weight now Luke. If you were to come to me next time and hadn't gained anything, that would be okay. You can if you wish stay at your current weight, but it obviously wouldn't be advised."

The man then proceeded in silence to check the blonde over, checking his heart, his skin and then finally his weight.

Luke as per usual asked if he had to take off his shoes, and change into a gown - and the doctor simply said just his shoes.

"The way they do it in those places is brutal," he said, giving the boy space to decide when he wanted to stand on the scale.

He then looked over at his mother, as if offering advice. "I've dealt with a couple of patients whose parents have opted for at-home recovery and all I want is for the patient to feel at ease when stepping on the scale. Wards usually terrify them so that they can never look at a scale as a mere object again."

Liz sighed. She was guessing he didn't think she did the right thing.

But Luke spoke up. "It wasn't like that there. The guy always made sure I took my time. It was all done at my own accord."

Luke looked back at the doctor and then at the scale. "I'm impartial to these things now. My weight doesn't mean anything to me - it's a number detached from the physical substance of my body."

The blonde then stood on the scale and let the man do his job. Of course, he always always bit anxious. But he didn't care what the number said, he only cared about how his body looked.

"Would you like to know Luke?" he asked, scrolling through the boy's previous weights to see how we were doing.

Luke laughed. "Of course."

Liz was watching her son carefully. She'd never seen his speak so maturely before, especially about something so difficult for him. And as bad as it was, she felt proud for Luke being her son for the first time in a while.

"One-hundred and twenty-three," he said plainly, watching intently for the blonde's reaction, seeing it would counter what he had said.

But, Luke stayed calm and collected. He looked down insecurely and admitted. "I used to think that one pound was huge, like if I were to gain a pound I'd suddenly look like a different person. But it's literally nothing. It's like a building block to making me that little bit stronger."

"I like that," the man agreed. "Might have to put that in my wall!"

Luke laughed and took his shoes back over to his mother who rubbed his back softly.

"Was English your favourite subject at school, Luke?" he asked, turning around to his desk to finish writing up the essential information that needed to be passed on to his therapist.

"Never stops reading," Liz answered. "Always buying books out of his pocket money."

The man nodded, knowing that school was probably so important to the blonde because it was a distraction. But did Luke need a distraction or did he need to face it head-on?

Looking at the pair he concluded. "I think you should give a week at school a try Luke. See how you are finding it. I think everyone's main concern is how you're going to cope with integrating again, but you can arrange with teachers to be alone - I don't know if you've done anything like that already?"

"He's eating his lunch alone with a teacher," Liz explained. "We've talked through it all already."

"Okay. But, if you find that Luke is distancing himself from you. Not talking about his feelings and repressing them again please don't fail to bring that up. Going back to school Luke should not be used as a distraction. You can use it as a guideline, but make sure you are still aware of your disorder."

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