Off Ones Rockers II • Lashton

Chapter Fifty-one

Chapter Fifty-one

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As the front door closed quietly, Liz sat up and stared at the living room doorway. The door was ajar, she had left it that way to see her son and boyfriend return, anxious that everything wasn't solved like he had promised her that morning.

She saw her youngest son walk boy, Luke pausing to smile at her and mutter a goodnight - it already being late for a school night.

Alex then stopped in the doorway and smiled at her reassuringly, taking off his coat and placing it on the side of one of the chairs. "I think he'll be okay," Alex said simply. 

Allowing him to sit down, the woman yawned and cuddled into the man's chest, he then gently rubbing her shoulder. 

"You were gone a while," she muttered quietly, her voice matching the dim lighting in the room. The curtains were drawn, the only light from the hallway. "I was worried he'd run off or done something silly."

Alex smiled sadly. Her worried were completely rational, that was a very Luke response. But, it saddened him that this had to be one of the first thoughts she had towards her son if difficult situations - she needed to learn to trust him again. 

"He had a lot to talk about. He's buried the past ten or so years of his life, never telling anyone," Alex admitted. He had asked the blonde almost every question he would postulate, he didn't want him to repress anything anymore, knowing any of it could be a possible future trigger if it hadn't been released into the public realm. 

They'd spent two hours at a restaurant, Luke feeling too overwhelmed to eat much, and Alex forgetting to eat whilst listening. They then ended up on a cafe to finish of their conversation - feeling they exceeded their stay at the restaurant. They lost track of time, Luke was experiencing the past ten years of his life in just a couple of hours.

"Ten years?" Liz asked, looking up at her boyfriend confused. "He would have only been six, I don't think he even has any memories from when he was that young!"

Alex simply shook his head and she slowly sat up looking at him for answers, worried that she had failed to spot it all this time.

"He'd always been overweight?" Alex asked, looking back at the door, wondering if the blonde was there now. He had watched him go upstairs, but he knew that Luke knew he was going to talk to his mother. Tell her his opinion on things.

Liz shook her head. "He'd always been a bit bigger than other kids his age. I think it was from about eight onwards, and then it got really bad from twelve. I don't understand what this has to do with it? I thought it was Jack and I that caused all this?"

"I think you were the final push, but it seems like Luke has actually had an eating disorder for a lot longer than we thought."

Liz looked down, trying to hold back tears. The man took her hand and gave it a tight squeeze. He explained to her everything he and Luke had discussed, but for the meantime chose to exclude his father from the conversation, hoping to get her to say something about it all. He couldn't quite understand why she had never stepped in and stopped the man saying what he did to her son.

"Did he ever hurt you?" Alex finally asked after he finished. The woman looked at the man confused, her eyes tired and teary. "Luke's father," he clarified.

Her eyes widened in shock and let go of the man's hand. "Why would you even ask that? He was cruel, he cheated - but he wasn't nasty." 

Alex sighed and turned his body so it was not facing forward. He didn't know what to make of her response, this wasn't his area of expertise. It was defensive, but that could mean anything. "He hurt Luke, Liz."

Liz shook her head. "He never laid a hand on him. What has Luke been telling you? Why would he even say-"

Cutting her off Alex reclassified. "Abuse isn't just physical Liz. It's emotional. The stuff he said to your son was abuse."

Liz sat staring at the floor, recalling all the years leading up to her divorce. She didn't realise, she just thought he was always a little too harsh on the blonde - but it was just a father caring for her son. 

She smiled sadly looking back over at Alex who wasn't looking at her. "He didn't do it when I was around very often," she admitted. "Maybe that's why I didn't notice."

Alex met eyes and shook his head. "It became normal. Luke thought it was normal. He thought it was good. That's what happens."

Wiping away a tear she took a deep breath. "I remember one time we took the boys swimming, and Luke and his father were sat on the edge of the pool, I was inside with the other two. And I heard him comparing Luke to other kids his age, telling him how he was supposed to look like that. He was nine," she laughed to himself. "He was nine and sat on the edge of the pool for ten minutes just staring at his body. I thought it was just a one-off, his father just embarrassed, that we had let him get that way."

Alex took a minute to think about what she had said. "He's scared of me, Liz. He's scared I'm going to be like him."

"You're nothing like him," Liz disagreed quickly. "You've cared for him so much. You've helped him so much."

Alex felt himself tear up and this time he looked down at the carpet. "I just need to help him with one last thing, Liz."

This time she took his hand. "I'd do anything for him to be okay again. You know that."

"He's never going to be okay again. But, we can make him as okay as he can be." Alex paused and gave him time to consider how to word the preposition. "He needs to see his father Liz. He needs to close that chapter on his life."

She shook his head. "No. What if he hurt him again? Surely we can do something else?" she pleaded. 

"He needs to face the root of his disorder. He needs closure. I'll be there Liz, I won't let anything happen to him. And if I feel it is getting nowhere, I'll stop it. But, it's the only way."

She looked over at the door, herself now wondering if Luke was there. "Is Luke okay with it?"

"He's scared. But he's been living his whole life in fear. He just wants security again."

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BLACK LIFES MATTER: I thought about it a couple of times in the past, the fact that I only write white characters. I've never once considered writing about a person of colour. Granted most of my characters are based on real people, and I've never really mentioned skin colour. But, there's no excuse for it. The only answer is that I'm white and the people surrounding me are predominantly white. It's what represents me, but that does not mean it represents my readers. I've always been scared to use the word black in the risk of offending. But, I want to make it a goal to include people of colour into my works. I myself cannot resonate with the experience of black people and please tell me what you'd want to see in a character that should represent you. But I will do my best to make my works diverse - I will do everything I can to make it a norm for people of colour to be meaningful characters in literature, not just carefully placed in to make it seems like I'm ticking the boxes. Please feel free to message me during these difficult times, so we can all educate each other and create a place where we all feel safe. 

There are some incredible fictional books out there as well that show how prevalent racism is within society. Malorie Blackman's works, especially Noughts and Crosses, really hit me hard when I was younger and there is also now a television series. If you want to look into the history of slavery and oppression, Chinua Achebe's Things Fall Apart shows how white colonialization tore apart the strongest of black communities and erased history of ancestors in Africa. It's a tough read, but that's what we need. Please let me know of some more. 

Thank you so much for reading.