Chapter Fifty-two

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Chapter Fifty-two

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Anxiously playing with his fingers Luke stood in the kitchen door watching his mother. Alex looked up from where he was reading something from his laptop and cleared his throat to get the woman attention.

She turned around confused and smiled when she saw her son. "Oh, Luke! How was school?"

"Good," he muttered in return, trying to conjure up the courage to ask her a simple question.

"What's wrong?" she asked worried, putting down her coffee as she noticed he was tapping his foot nervously.

Luke's eyes adverted to and from the pair before saying. "Some of my friends at school have invited me to a little like - not a party, but just a little hangout thing tonight," he quickly rushed out.

Liz's face quickly lit up at the word friends, she didn't know her son had friends at school, she assumed he hung out alone. "And you want to go?" she asked hopefully.

Luke nodded, pulling his backpack strap back over his shoulder.

"Of course you can! Do you need me to pick you up, and take you?" she asked, probably more excited than he was for the occasion. Alex laughed silently from where he sat at the situation. It was clear the blond had been an introverted child (which there was nothing wrong with), and that his mother had always wished for his son to have friends who would come around for dinner, or invite him out.

"I don't mind walking there, but thanks."

Liz sat down next to her boyfriend and smiled contently. "Do you want me to cook you anything before you go?" she asked, looking back over at her son who only seemed to be loosing more and more weight - he was in fact maintaining, but he was getting taller every day.

Luke shrugged before conjuring up another load of courage to ask. "They said that they were going to get pizza, and I was wondering if I could maybe, um - get one too?"

His mother's eyes widened in surprise. She had not seen her son eat a pizza in a long time, even when as a family they would get one, he would always object and have something different. It was one thing he still could not bring himself to eat.

"Do you think you'll be able to eat it sweetheart?" she asked gently, not wanting to evoke any more nerves within him.

Luke shrugged yet again. "I'd like to give it a try. I've been thinking about it all day. I just want to be like them and have fun. They said they do small ones, and I thought I could bring it home," he rambled. He had been thinking about it all the way home from school. His mind fixated on whether or not he could eat a pizza. As soon as he reached his door he concluded that he was silly for even thinking about it. Of course, he could, it was food and it was edible. Any other fear he had towards it was unnecessary.

"Okay. If that's what you want?" she checked, taking a glance at Alex who was as per usual neutral.

Luke nodded. "I just don't want to be a nuisance. I'll eat here if it's easier," Luke mumbled, getting a sense that his mother didn't think it was a good idea.

She shook her head. "I just don't want you to get upset that's all. Because it's okay if you're not ready to eat a pizza," she said reassuringly.

"I'm ready," Luke protested. "I really want to do it today. I just want to feel normal."

Liz looked down, trying to fight back tears. Alex noticed and placed a supportive hand on her leg. With his other grabbing his wallet out of his pocket and handing the boy some money.

Luke looked at the pair uneasily, not moving from where he was. Alex left the money on the table and sighed. Everything always ended in conflict - even when intentions were good.

"Tell him how you're feeling," Alex whispered to Liz knowing that Luke needed to know, otherwise he'd be worrying all night that he had done something wrong.

She gulped and looked up, her eyes teary. "I'm proud Luke. You haven't don't anything wrong. I just want you to be okay. And I think you might be."

Luke smiled sweetly and walked over to his mother, herself standing up and the pair hugged. "It's just a pizza," Luke laughed as he pulled away.

"But it isn't Luke," she disagreed. "This is something you used to cry over, scream about. And now you see it like we do - it's just food that makes you stronger."

Luke chuckled and looked down. "I don't know if pizza is really a food that makes you stronger. It's not exactly the healthiest!"

She shook his head and looked him up and down. "You don't need healthy food, Luke. You're a teenage boy who needs as much food as he can get."

She could tell that he wasn't quite okay, that there was still something making him pause and question everything single one of his choices. She ran her finger down his cheek and said softly. "I know I've never spoken about it before. But, what your father said Luke, he was wrong. You can eat what you want - it doesn't make you any less of a person than anyone else. You're a good person, you'd never hurt anyone. And that's all that matters."

Luke looked down, trying not to cry himself. He didn't know he needed it. But, he needed his mother's approval just as much as is fathers. And even though she never said anything quite like his father. Her silence was just as damaging. "I know." He then took her hand and promised her. "None of this your fault mum. It never was. It's no one's fault really. It's all in my head and no one could have stopped it."

Alex watched the mother and son for the side. He didn't quite agree with what Luke was saying. There was blame to be held - to both the mother and father. It might have been inevitable but it was intensified to an extreme. But, he knew it made Luke at ease casting away blame - he just needed the approval from himself. No one else.

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I just cried for half an hour about one of my university essays. It was one of the best ones I've wrote but because of all the shit that was going on in my life and having four other ones to write I got the word limit mixed up and it got deduced 30% of the mark. And I'm just frustrated that despite my circumstances nothing can be done about it.

Please comment what you think.

Thank you so much for reading. 


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