Caught on the loop

Lilia ( Taken )

. . .

I thought my worst fear was a world without Gray in it.

But I was wrong.

I have never been so terrified like this all my life.

For what I thought was an eternity, I  have been trap in the middle of a dead lake where I was swimming with rotten flesh, maggots and skulls.

The water is as dark as old hardened blood. I could not even describe the smell without gagging... It's the perfect pungent aroma that probably attracted all these flies and maggots.

Wala na akong bosses sa kakasigaw ng "tulong! tulungan nyo ako!".

I've never felt so dirty in my whole life.

I've been in the water for too long that maggots already made their way into my skin feasting away my flesh as I watch it happen.

No matter how I try to swim and push myself to the shore, I just couldn't move myself forward.

The only thing moving in this whole Goddamn lake are the ripples my splashes made.

And then I just gave up flapping my arms. I just stayed still floating in the  black murky water.

Then I started feeling something tingle inside my throat.

It immediately churned out my stomach which eventually made me puke.

To my horror, white slimy mucus where small wriggling maggots swirled in ejected out of my mouth.

It's probably my time.

I might just as well accept the reality that I'm dying as the fact that maggots are starting to eat my insides as well is definitely the omen I've been waiting for.

I've call out Gray's name once more...

Nothing...

My voice echoed back to me.

No one else will help me this time.

I thought I was important to him.

But where is he? How could he let me suffer like this.

I guess I was wrong about what I thought was his feelings for me.

Was I just another pet he wanted to play with?

I'm so stupid.

What was I even thinking! How could a demon like him be able to love someone like me.

Maybe I just assumed it all inside my brain. He never even uttered once that he loved me.

How could I let myself be a fool for a guy like him.

I'm too young and was  easily deceived by his bewitching eyes, well sculptured body and luring deep husky voice.

He was the first one who bring out the lust in me.

Lust...

Maybe it was all just lust between us.

I'm too blinded to see the  thin boundary between lust and love.

Everything makes sense now.

Now that I'm all alone... sinking on the bottom of my final destination.

I closed my eyes and let go of the last breathe I was holding on inside me.

"Sit semel, hoc iterum anima oriri. Quidquid adversi vitam reduceret. unum illud oriri."