Caught on the loop

Lilia's ( Bubbled )

. . .

Sa buong buhay ko, di pa ako nakadama ng ganung sakit.

Tila ba sinusunog lahat ng kalamnan ko.

The moment I decided to open and mindlessly half emptied Gray's drinking bottle, I realized how stupid I was.

I will never forget the taste.

Siguro yun na yung pinakamasarap na inumin na nainom ko.

Kaya nga naparami yung inom ko.

Tinalo nya pa yung isang malamig na bote ng coke sa sarap.

But as soon as I stopped I felt my heartbeat stop as well.

Di na ako makahinga.

Nanlabo na yung mga mata ko.

Sa isang bigla nawalan na ako ng kontrol sa aking katawan.

Tila tinutusok ng karayom habang sinusunog ang buong parte ng katawan ko.

Then I heard Gray call my name.

"Lilia don't F*cking fall asleep. Stay with me Lilia. . ."

Di ko na kaya.

Wala nang pumapasok na hangin sa baga ko.

Katapusan ko na ba talaga to?

And with my last breath I spoke the name of someone I value the most...

"Gray. . . "

...

The last memory I had when I was awake played over and over again in my mind.

Siguro nasa purgatoryo na ako.

Natatandaan ko pa kasi yung sinabi sakin ni Lola noong buhay pa siya.

"Sa purgatoryo, doon ka bibigyan ng pagkakataong itama ang mga mali mo. Di ka makaka alis. Paulit ulit lang. Kahit pagod ka na di ka makakawala".

Siguro tama nga si lola.

Pero...

Di pa ako handang umalis.

Ayokong umalis.

I just can't leave like this.

I don't want to stay in this black hole.

Will someone pull me back?

I felt my tears stream on my cheeks.

My limbs started to froze.

Di ako makagalaw.

Ang lamig lamig.

Natatakot ako.

And while I was at my lowest, I felt a warm touch on my cheeks.

My tears are gently wiped away.

I felt a sudden urge to live.

But how do I go back?

How?

My hands are starting to get numb.

I tried to run.

But it feels like forever.

Paikot ikot lang akong tumatakbo sa walang katapusang kadiliman.

As I was down on my knees I felt the same warmth holding my hand.

Its holding me tight.

Its warming my numb frozen hands.

Eventually it started pulling me towards a ray of light.