i sat in my cupboard, on the floor crying my eyes out. i didn't know why i was in my wardrobe but i was. i was in a ball crying, crying because i missed my brother. crying because i realised i would never see him again, only ever in pictures. i'd never be able to hug him again or even hear his voice. i'd never be able to hear one of this cheesy jokes that only be ever really found funny. i sat there crying because i'd never be able to feel happy again.
"max" i heard a soft voice asked. i looking through the cracks of my wardrobe and saw a woman standing at my door. "i'm just here to talk, your dad called me" she said, i didnt move but i stopped crying. i didn't want her to hear me "it's okay, i'm not here to hurt you or take you away" she reassured me, that wasn't that i was thinking but is she. "just come out" she asked, i felt myself about to sneeze. i took a deep breath but covered my mouth and nose as i sneezed.
i was sat with the woman, we were sitting in the living room. i still didn't know who she was. "i am a therapist" she informed me. "your dad is concerned that you are too shut off" she informed me. "im not gonna talk about my feelings with some random stranger" i said to her, about to stand up. "i know that's how you feel but anything said in our sessions will be strictly between us" she said to me. "you don't know me. you don't know anything about me" i began almost yelling at her, "you don't know what i've been through. you have no right to sit there and just pretend that you actually wanna hear what i have to say" i yelled. "you don't care and nobody else does. i've learned to accept that now why can't everyone else" i yelled as i stood up and walked up off the stairs.
what did i just do? i screamed at a women i've never even met, for no reason other then i'm upset. i hated myself for it, i couldn't control my anger. it was like there was just this hurt that was trapped inside of me and it needed to be let out, it wanted to be let out and i just lose my temper because that's it trying to get out. that's the demon trying to take over.
