Tolkien Elven Imagines and Headcanons Volume 1

74. Maeglin general headcanons on being an outcast and on Idril

- It doesn't take long for Maeglin to feel like an outcast after his arrival to Gondolin, the excitement reasonably wearing off after losing his mother.

- With everyone being so tight knit and without his mother there, Maeglin feels like he is floundering in unknown territory.

- Which is understandable considering that this is unknown territory, and all he has known is his Ada, Nanneth and working with Dwarves.

- Even with Turgon taking him under his wing, it doesn't lessen how he feels about not fitting in.

- Everyone is so much more confident and certain of themselves, as well as outgoing and cheerful, where Maeglin has lived a hard yet sheltered life in Nan Elmoth.

- Though he learns quickly how to navigate life in Gondolin, it wouldn't change keep him still from feeling inadequate or that he is different from the others.

- This is where his thoughts on Lady Idril probably grow conflicting and the feelings for her blossom further into obsession.

- I've always pictured, aside from Turgon, she is incredibly patient and understanding with him and his upbringing. Realizing that something went not right in his childhood.

- Maeglin is already enamored because Idril is absolutely beautiful and he's never seen someone as lovely as her, nor been around another elleth so understanding as she.

- He can't help but love her for her beauty and her compassion, yet he knows it's wrong because they are related.

- But it doesn't stop how he feels, no matter how many times he tells himself it's wrong, she makes him feel accepted and he doesn't worry that she will look at him like something is wrong with him.

- That is until she realizes how he feels for her and where the distance starts to come in, leaving him to chastise himself further.

- It's mostly into wanting to leave her alone, yet in the same breath wanting desperately to have more. To have that closeness they had when he first arrived, and to have even more than what he already had.

- It constantly leaves him ashamed and desperate, trying to do what he knows is right and not give into whims

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