Tolkien Elven Imagines and Headcanons Volume 1

57. Maeglin - Unrequited Love Part 2

Maeglin x Reader

1.2k words

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You stood quietly in the middle of the courtyard you were to meet Maeglin at. It had been an hour past the usual time you would meet in the morning, if anything you had anticipated Maeglin to be there early. That way he could disclose how the event of yesterday had gone, but he hadn't shown up and you knew it hadn't gone like he hoped.

You gathered your books quickly as you began to wrack your head of the places he would've gone to hide away. Immediately his study came to mind, rarely was he bothered at his study that and he could drown himself in his work. But you wondered if he was even able to accomplish such a thing.

Without another thought you hurried from your courtyard, making a bee line for his office. You didn't stop for anyone, not for your brother- Lord Galdor- who had tried to call out to you. Not for the scholar who followed you for a moment trying to get your assistance in the grand library.

You only told him that you had a pressing matter to attend too in one breath. When you arrived to the House of the Mole no one paid you any mind accustom to seeing you around so often. When you came to his office door you intercepted a courier grabbing the stack of reports you know Maeglin would need. You took a breath before knocking on his door, there was silence on the other end for a moment.

With a sigh your grabbed the door handle and let yourself in to find Maeglin sitting at his desk, with a weeks worth of work spread out across his desk. His quill scratching noisily across the parchment roughly, his robes were a little disheveled and so was his hair. Several of his candles partially burned halfway down and still going, even the white drapes were pulled closed.

"Maeglin?" You began in a worried tone and you watched as his whole body went rigid at the sound of your voice, stopping his writing momentarily. Maeglin let out a shaky breath closing his eyes for a moment before he continued working,

"Yes?" He responded to you in a dejected tone, but you caught the small waver in his voice. Gently you shut the door, locking it not wanting anyone to disturb him as you set your books on an end table. Bringing the letters to put on his desk,

"What happened Mae?" To Maeglin it was a cruel move for you to use his nickname you had given him, especially when he was feeling so wounded and vulnerable. The tears immediately welled at your kindness and heavy concern. But he fought them hard blinking them back not moving his gaze from the paper before him.

Crying was for Lady's. That was what his Ada always said, it was an unnecessary expression and the best way to repress those emotions was through work. Just like he was taught, not being coddled annoyingly so like you were trying to do.

"Nothing." He grumbled out bitterly, but you only took the seat before his desk watching him quietly. You would've asked him if he was okay but you knew that he was not, and you felt so sad for him, it had been some time since you saw him so broken up. The last time you saw Maeglin like this was when his Nana died. You didn't know then how to comfort him, and even now you felt a little clueless.

"Maeglin," You began pressing him gently, wanting more than anything to soothe him.

"It's not nothing... Whatever happened is bothering you and it's okay that it does." You explained further and you heard the quill in his hand snap under the pressure of his fingers. You knew at any moment before this if he wanted you gone he would've expressed it but he didn't. Maeglin flitted his eyes up to you and you could see the storm brewing in his eyes as he frowned deeply at you.

"Y/N stop." He snapped out bitterly, the tears welling in his eyes, as you watched in silence swallowing the lump in your throat. While Maeglin was one for boundaries he had never snapped at you before, but the last two days were full of firsts.

"Unless you can make her return my affections then there is nothing you can do. So stop pitying me." Maeglin spilled out unable to stop himself, revealing some of what you had suspected happened. The tears slipping out beyond his own control and he stood quickly turning away from you as a hand went to cover his mouth. Quietly you stood heart heavy at the sight of him, before you walked over to Maeglin. He was making sure to keep his back to you, especially while he cried.

"Maeglin I don't pity you..." You began stopping just behind him, your hand reaching out to touch the back of his robes. His body for a moment stayed relaxed, used to your intermittent touches due to your long friendship. That was until you began to rub it and he began to tense,

"I sympathize with you." Your voice was gentle and you felt the heavy shake in his chest as he tried to quiet his sniffling. When you tried to walk around to look at Maeglin, he only held up his hand quickly to stop you.

"Don't, you're not supposed too see." He tried to say firmly, but his voice betrayed him, full of more emotion than he wanted to convey. Every word he spoke only kept the frown etched on your mouth, but you said nothing to him only continuing to rub his back. Maeglin's crying only becoming more intense the longer you both stood there. With you trying to comfort him only seemed to make the tears worse.

"I do not understand why it hurts. I am a man I should not feel so weak over this." He cried out to you his shoulders finally slumping, not caring now that you moved to see him as much as he loathed it. When you came around to him you gently pulled on his robe, bringing his head down to rest on your shoulder.

Maeglin relented even though you knew any other time he'd not be having it, but you suspected he probably needed the comfort more than he even realized.You wrapped your arms around his neck, leaving you unsurprised that the affections were not returned. He lay against you rather awkwardly unsure of what to do, other than just crying into your shoulder.

"You have feelings Maeglin... even though you are a man, it doesn't negate your emotions. Even men are allowed to be weak and it be over things such as love..." You explained in a calm voice, the word love tasting bitter on your tongue. Maeglin wanted to argue, but after what happened with Idril he just didn't have the will.

"I just love her so much..." You heard him breathe against your shoulder, the tears soaking through the shoulder of you top. You nodded at his words solemnly, hurt to hear the words but you knew precisely how he felt.

"I know you do..." You whispered back to him, it was all you heard about was how great and wonderful she was. Maeglin's self built world had been shattered, and you worried that he may never recover from such heartbreak.

"Is it okay to stay like this..?" You heard him mumble out sadly between the tears sounding so unsure of this situation. But once again you nodded at his words,

"Of course Maeglin. We can stay like this as long as you need..." Your voice soft and soothing, assuring Maeglin that this was okay to be doing. His body finally seemed to relax some against you, you loved him so much. You wanted to do anything you could to help soothe the hurt he felt.