Darkside

Twenty

Selling donuts.

I never thought I'd be here, but really, it fits in with a life by the ocean, doesn't it? It's almost cliché. Working in a cute little nice-smelling bakery with the sweet, young, barely out of college girl who's just looking for a direction in life isn't where I thought I'd be, but it's okay, I like it.

Aimee's life is just beginning, she simply isn't sure which way it will take her.

Mine is over. It might end here. If this works out with the seaside and Orson, this might be the job I do to the day I die. Not that I'm complaining. I didn't think I'd get a job, yet here I am with a great one.

Orson's enjoying his construction work as well.

So far so good. All I need to do is shake off this anxiety.

"Your boyfriend is dreamy," Aimee groans, dragging me kicking and screaming from my worry. "And he's sweet as well. Why can't I find a man like that? Everyone I date is so immature they still think ghosting is okay."

Ghosting...huh. Kinda like what I did.

"Guess I just got lucky."

God, isn't that the truth. Lucky I ended up with that idiot truck driver who didn't murder me but brought me to Orson instead, lucky I called him and he cared enough to find me, to bring me here with our apartment and my brand new life, lucky Aimee wants to be my friend.

I could be called Lucky. Phoenix suits me more than I could ever know. I have risen from Luvvie's ashes and I'm living a life worth living.

I never thought I'd have a life worth living, especially not as Luvvie.

"Have you ever had a bad guy in your life? It's awful. If you've only ever been with Orson you can't understand..."

"I've had my fair share, sure," I bite back, just so she knows it hasn't always been smooth-sailing. "But I kissed the frogs until I got my prince."

"And Prince Charming, you really did get." Aimee hands me a tray of donuts to take into the front of house. "He's wonderful. He makes all the frogs worth it, right?"

"He does."

Everything I've been through is worth it to be here in this life. I'd go through it all again. I don't even think I'd change a thing, which isn't something I ever thought I'd say.

"Say you'll come out with me tonight." Aimee clings onto my arm for added effect. "With all of us. Well, not all of us...some of the other staff members. I know you haven't worked with them all yet, but it'll be fun. You can get to know everyone that way. Our other friends as well. You're going to need us all, if you're going to stay here."

Instinctively I shake my head. Going out means alcohol and that's never been my friend.

"Oh, please, Phoenix. I have a totally selfish reason for wanting you out with me. Since you're clearly so good with guys, I want you to help me with David. I don't think you've met him yet but he also works here and I just can't get him to notice me no matter what I do."

It's laughable for her to think I'm good with guys.

"I don't know. I might have plans with Orson..."

"But Orson just said on the phone he's having a beer with the builders." Damn it, I didn't know she overheard that. "You can meet him out...after you've helped me of course."

I force a smile. No escaping this now, Aimee has it all worked out.

This girl might be too clever, I'll have to keep an eye on her.

"Okay, I'll come. I'll help. I don't know what I can do though because I do think I just got lucky with Orson. I don't know how smooth I really am. But no booze. I don't drink on a school night."

"You aren't working tomorrow, silly. You can drink all you want."

Uh oh, I'm in trouble here. With Aimee, I might struggle to keep my head on straight.

***

"Have another drink!" Somehow, Aimee can be heard over the thumping music that I can't even hear my thoughts over. "We need one more before we can dance."

"Dance?" Oh God, I don't know if I can dance. "I don't think..."

"You are, so drink up." Aimee's giggles are almost infectious. "The rest of the group is dancing, so we should join in as well. We don't want to be the party poopers."

The rest of the group is a bunch of Aimee's friends and apparently our coworkers. I don't think I like any of them but Aimee. Still, I don't want them to hate me. Hate might lead to suspicion. Suspicion could lead to me being revealed.

I can't wait until Orson turns up once he's finished with his friends...whenever that may be.

"Another two drinks then. I'll dance after two."

I'm not supposed to be drinking, but I can't dance without the booze. Plus, I've already broken that rule anyway so I may as well carry on.

"Come on then." I knock one back after the other. "Let's do this already."

Weirdly, it's kinda fun. Once I accept no one's look at me, I loosen up and feel the pounding beat some more. It doesn't matter what I do. My two left-feet don't bother anyone, nor do my out-of-rhythm hips, and my arms in the air, waving madly.

It's all just a laugh.

I haven't had much of a laugh since Phoenix was born.

"There's something about you." Aimee rests her hand on my shoulder and drunken yells into my ear, some of her words slurring. "I can't put my finger on it, but there's something."

I want to tell her, it's on the edge of my tongue. I want to let her know that I'm a genius and I pulled off what seems impossible. I wonder what Aimee would think to my real identity.

Luvvie Thompson: Missing, Presumed Dead.

She'd die. I'm sure she'd love it. I bet she would even keep my secret because we get along so well. It'd be a crazy shock as well. I'd love to see that on her face.

But I can't. This is why I don't drink because the truth is too tempting to share. I want to show off about it actually. I feel like I've achieved it all.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

It doesn't matter how much I want to tell her, how much I want her to know, or even how much I trust her. Orson already knows too much. I can't let anyone else in.

This secret is dangerous.

Apparently, booze is dangerous for me as well. It makes my tongue a little loose.

"One day I'll work out what it is about you, Phoenix. One day."

I can't worry. She won't. No one will. Not even Orson.

I've done well, I should be proud actually.

"Shut up and dance, Aimee. Dance with me!"