Darkside

Thirty

"This will be an adventure, won't it?"

Orson's backpack looks suspiciously bigger than last time. He must be bringing things with him, mementoes of our time here. That's weird, I have less. I'm shedding things.

"An adventure?" There's no strength in my voice. "Yes, I suppose so."

"It will be amazing, you know? I promise. This is the right decision. No one can find us if we keep moving. That way, we can keep it me and you forever. I know it isn't what you initially planned, and we did have a good time here, but the way we're living...well for us, it can't last, can it?"

Me and Orson. That's the way it's going to be. That's the way it should be...unless I'm supposed to be alone.

Sometimes I believe that's all I deserve.

"You know what, Luvvie?"

"Huh?"

Ice-cold panic darts through me. I fall back away from Orson, slamming my body into the bus stop. What did he just say? I've always thought he might suspect my real identity isn't Phoenix, but I didn't know he knew. Now what?

I can't stay with a man who knows the truth about me. It's too damn dangerous.

"I said I love you. Is it too soon? I didn't mean to make you panic."

Luvvie...love you.

Is this just paranoia?

This unbridled terror is really getting to me now.

"I don't expect you to say it back or anything." He awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, looking too adorable as he does. "I just wanted you to know."

He doesn't know anything.

He loves me.

This is what I have always wanted, my fairytale romance.

"You know what, I love you too, Orson. So very much."

There's no reason for me to fight my feelings, no need to push him away when he's the one. The problem isn't Orson, it never has been.

"This will be an adventure," I declare as my lips pull back from his. "I can't wait. I never originally wanted to stay in one place anyway, I just got caught up. But we do better when we're moving, don't we? It suits us more. And this way the world can be our oyster, we can do whatever we want."

With love in my life, true love this time, I really can do anything. I can go anywhere, be anything, exist in any environment, all because I have Orson.

"The bus is coming. Are we just getting on the first one?" I nod. Who cares where we end up? "Okay, cool. Onto the next place then."

His fingers lace through mine, the skin of his hand warm against me. There's no need for the vicious cycle to continue if we get our fresh start. No need for any of it. We can be new people again. Hopefully the best version of Phoenix and Orson now. No fear, no paranoia, no violence and definitely no blood.

I don't want to die again, death isn't easy. There's a reason humans only die once, and Phoenix isn't ready for her time to come yet. She wants to do more, to be more, to live at long last.

No, she can't die, she can't be a murder victim living in a mystery when actually she's in a romance. Luvvie never had a romance, not really. She dreamed it but it wasn't real. Phoenix can live that for her which is why she will never be ready for death.

Ever.