Darkside

Four

One look...just one look.

A little glance can't hurt...

"Hey, you in there."

I jump back from the laptop, my heart pounding in my throat. It nearly sucked me back in, I almost caved. Day two and I almost slipped back into Luvvie once more.

I force myself to move towards the voice on the other side of the door.

"Erm, who's there?"

The fucking Darkside. Why can't I leave it alone? Even now after where it led me...

"It's Orson. I just wanted to see if you were up for that birthday drink after all?"

Oh God. I don't want to go anywhere with him. But I've just proven I can't be trusted in here either.

"Sure." That's the right thing to do. It's strong. I feel stronger as I swing the door open. Moving away from the Internet is all I can do. "Coming."

If Orson's confused at my one-eighty in attitude when it comes to his birthday, he doesn't show it.

"Brilliant." His smile weirdly soothes my soul. "Let's go. My friends are in the bar."

"So, you do have friends?"

It's hard to keep up my usual level of sarcasm when my heart pounds in my throat.

"I do. You never know, you might even end up liking them..."

Huh, that's a joke. I won't like them and they won't like me either. Phoenix is unlovable, certainly not a people pleaser. I won't let them in one bit. Since I'm outta here tomorrow, their approval means nothing to me.

Searching for the approval of others hasn't ever worked out well for me. I won't make that mistake again.

"Archie, Wanda, and this is Lillian." Orson points to everyone in turn.

"None of you have normal names?"

"Orson said you're called Phoenix." Lillian's eyes graze over me, barely touching me because I'm not worth it. "That sounds like a made up name to me."

Heat bubbles in my stomach. How dare she? This was a mistake. I should go back to room seventeen and keep on avoiding Darkside.

"You want a drink?" Orson clearly doesn't want me to bolt, judging by the rapid words spilling passed his lips. "Beer, or something stronger?"

"Stronger." Phoenix has something to prove, and she always wants something stronger.

The amber liquid cascading in circular motions in the bottom of my tumbler smells gross, but Lillian has her eyes on me, so I need to get some down me now.

"Argh." Shit, that's strong. It burns. How the hell does anyone drink this for fun? "This is good stuff. Erm, happy birthday, Orson."

"At least we didn't need to get Orson a birthday gift this year." Archie's words drip with delight. "Because he finally has himself the vagrant girlfriend he's always wanted."

Vagrant? Fucking vagrant?

What a piece of work.

But I can't react. I mustn't show weakness.

Fuck this dude. He doesn't know me. He has no idea what I've been through, what I can handle. The scar on my arm means nothing to him but it shows me my strength, it reminds me I got away.

"Girlfriend, huh?" What if I lean into the joke? That could work. "Well, I suppose I owe you a kiss then, big boy."

Orson might as well pass out when I grab his soft cheeks and kiss his much too dry lips. His shitty friends howl with laughter which makes me glow...but only for a second.

I can't wipe down Orson. My fingerprints are all over him.

He looks clean enough though. He must shower. It'll be fine.

The glass tumbler is another issue though. I'll have to bring it with me.

"I might need another drink." If I'm going to suffer these people, I need to zone out more. "After all, this is supposed to be a party, isn't it? Let's liven this thing up."