Darkside

Twenty-Five

"He dumped me, then showed everyone the picture I sent him in private." Aimee's shrill, irritated voice is about the only thing to break through my deep fearful thoughts of the day. Donuts and fear, that's what my ocean-side dream has become. "How could he do that to me? What is wrong with people?"

Things with David have apparently gone south very quickly.

"I...don't know what to say to you?"

"Urgh, obviously you've never been publically humiliated then. It's horrible."

If only you knew...

"No, I haven't suffered anything like revenge porn." I force my eyebrows to knot together seriously, giving her the grave attention she needs. "It must be horrible. Isn't there anything you can do? It's a crime, right? Go to the cops."

"I could, but it won't change anything. Once it's out there online, there's no reeling it back in."

Online. The Internet. Darkside.

The pull is too strong, the magnetic power it has over me, especially now with my real life struggling to remain intact. Running away from Darkside hasn't allowed me to escape it. Not as much as I'd like. I'm still stuck in the same circle of torture. Perhaps just a look...

"Phoenix, are you even listening to me?"

"Sorry, what?"

An eye roll strikes me hard.

"I asked how things are with Mr. Perfect? He would never do anything to hurt you."

I wince. Something else she doesn't know.

"He's good. Working hard on the building site. Seems happy there as far as I know."

"He hasn't been around as much. Is that because he's working? It can't be anything else. You two are far too strong to split up."

Huh...splitting up.

Funny how that never occurred to me.

With Luvvie, as soon as I met him, Cash became ingrained within the fabric of my life as if he was as much me as the heart beating in my chest. I couldn't even think of letting go which is why I never did.

Am I making the same mistake as Phoenix?

Will Orson end up killing her just like Cash killed Luvvie?

But the DNA...it'll match the old crime scene. Everyone will know Luvvie never died. The ball of yarn will unravel and everyone will know...

...will know that my murder didn't happen, that it was all me all along.

"We won't split up. We're just fine."

Phoenix and Orson will have to be entwined with one another now, they need to make it work somehow. Two broken souls will have to become one. Fixing one another is a necessity, not an option.

"Yeah, thought as much. You're one lucky girl, Phoenix. Got yourself a good man and you've locked him down. You keep him that way."

"Sounds like you think I should marry him."

"Oh, I do!"

Split up...marriage...both crazy options, equally as insane as one another.

"I'm too young to think of marriage. There's still so much I want to do."

"Like what?" Aimee leans on the counter beside me. "Traveling? That sort of thing? The usual, I call it, even though I don't want to backpack anywhere. Now, if you were offering me a five-star hotel tour, that I might take you up on..."

Traveling is a safe topic, I can get on board with that.

"Traveling, seeing the world, experiencing life...I don't know really. There has to be more to life than this."

A person like Luvvie, even like Phoenix, doesn't get to see more than this. She doesn't have enough. She was born on the wrong side of the tracks.

Some people get everything in life, some nothing. I'm a nothing.

"You can do all that stuff with a husband. Plenty do." Aimee stares me down defiantly. "Trust me, I'm out there, experiencing what other guys are like. They're the worst. If you have someone who makes you happy, don't let him go."

"I don't have to rush down the aisle to keep Orson."

"No, but one day it'll come to that or a baby. You ready for that?"

No way I'm ready to be a parent. Not a chance. I haven't learned how to look after myself yet.

"You're a bit cynical, Aimee. I don't think it's that straightforward."

"You'll see." She's younger than me, been through way less than me, but wiggling a knowing finger in my direction. "Trust me, one day you'll see."

Is she right?

After all, I didn't manage to keep Cash, did I?