Darkside

Seven

The city comes into view, giving me a strong sense of relief as I perch on the edge of my uncomfortable bus seat. This is what I've been looking for all along. The sort of place where a girl like me can vanish. Tall buildings, endless houses, more people than anyone can count. A newbie in a small town doesn't work for a runaway. Especially when there's an obsessive like Orson waiting...

No one will get me now. No one will notice me. This is where Phoenix will stay. At least, for a while. It might not be a permanent home but I may not ever have a forever house again. Someone who can't be seen may always have to be on the move, but that's the choice I made.

It was either that or the unthinkable.

"They found blood." As I stagger down the moving bus, trying to find the door to get the hell out of here, words stop me in my tracks. Many crimes happen every single day, but I'm listening out for anything which might suggest Luvvie's status has changed. "His blood."

No, that can't be me, that must be something else. I shuffle forward.

"His blood where they think she was murdered? So, he did it then?"

Hold on, this just got interesting...

I pause. I listen.

"Oh, it's always the significant other, isn't it? A lovers spat gone wrong, a need for the life insurance money, a crime of passion..."

"What was it this time? Does it say why she ended up dead?"

"Presumed dead," the first woman corrects. "No guarantees yet. But no, nothing solid. Only theories at the moment..."

I have to keep going, we're getting close to my stop, but I move with a small smile playing on my life. He might as well have killed me, and now he has...

***

Luvvie should've known that Cash was going to be trouble from first sight. That glint in his eye, that spelled trouble, but she chose to ignore it. She was still living in her own little love story and didn't want to take the blinkers off.

Meeting him was the best thing that ever happened to her, so all red flags flew ignored. His good points were everything, no bad points even affected her. She convinced herself they weren't even there.

She let him into her life, into her heart, and he chose to kill her.

***

"That's not enough." I lay each dollar bill out on the bed. "I need more."

I can't keep living in motels forever. That's what suspicious people do. I also have no idea how I'll land myself a job. Phoenix doesn't even have a last name, never mind a social security number. Seems I didn't think everything through after all.

"Escaping isn't easy. Did I think it was going to be?"

Maybe I shouldn't have left.

I don't mean originally, of course. I had to leave then. But sweet, hapless Orson could've looked after me. Looking back now without the fog of paranoia, he was willing to blindly trust me. I could've worked for him as well. He practically offered me a job behind the motel desk the moment I stepped in the building.

But I ran out and now I'm here.

"No money can ever be enough. Not to last forever."

I need to switch on the laptop, I don't have any choice now, I have to delve into the world of the Internet. I can't avoid it any longer. Not for the Darkside, of course. I can't go to the Darkside. But I can't set up without the computer.

We live in a world where technology rules. I just need to remain strong.

"You can do this."

Can I? Can I really?

Luvvie couldn't. The Internet got Luvvie into this mess.

Phoenix can. She can do anything. She can overcome this for sure.

My chest hurts, each thunder of my heart intensifies as the clock ticks loudly. My lungs ache, each breath drags in air that's much too cold. My skin tingles, half with need, half with fear, all with anticipation.

"It will be fine. I can do this. It won't suck me in again."

It's a magnet, an overwhelming force that I've never been able to avoid before. It's worse because people will be talking. The Darkside thrives on a good real life murder mystery. It's there for other reasons, but that's always been the main topic of conversation, and this involves one of their own. I bet they've worked that much out by now.

I should look.

I should.

It's crazy not to. If I want to keep on top of this then I need to know what's going on. If anyone can figure out that Luvvie Thompson isn't missing: presumed dead, it's them. They are the ones I fear. They know Cash as well. Virtually, like they know one another, but it isn't always easy to remember that you don't know people for real, you can't know a damn thing about them, on the other end of a computer screen.

"Don't do it." My fingers itch. I don't know if I can handle it. "Don't do it. It's a direct link to you. To Luvvie. You will be found."

Hunted like an animal. Chased down, backed into a corner, attacked.

I step away. I can't be trusted. A bead of sweat hits my cheek. I can't do this, not yet. The curse of addiction flows through my veins. I need it, I can't contain myself yet.

I have to find a way to live without the online world. Is that possible? I haven't ever tried before, I've always been one with the Internet, it's been an intrinsic part of my life forever.

My old life. Not this one.

Phoenix will find a way. She has to. Otherwise Darkside will swallow me up once more. This time it might not spit me out again, it might just kill me for real.