Darkside

Twenty-Eight

Control. What a concept. I don't know how someone can have it. Over themselves, over someone else. The world is too chaotic for control. People are too messed up for it as well. If my life has taught me anything, it's that.

I can't judge, it isn't like I have control over my actions, which is why I've finally caved to that gorgeous magnetic pull...

Darkside.

Finally, I can give up the light, I can get back there.

It's been an itch for far too long, I've been desperately trying to ignore it, not wanting to scratch it, but I have to admit it's a massive relief now to stop battling my need.

"Hello, Darkside, my ol' friend..." I slur my words, but continue singing. "I have missed you so damn much..."

Who will I talk to first? Who am I most excited to reconnect with? I guess most importantly, who is bound to have the most information? Who will be onto Luvvie? Hmm, so many names, so many options, I can't wait to type once more...

"Oh, holy shit."

I wasn't expecting that.

Cash.

Cash is online. On Darkside, right now. He's on the list of people logged into the chat room, which means I'm in massive trouble. Everything could fall apart here now, all because I couldn't keep away. This is what Cash wants, isn't it? This is why he's here. He's looking for me, trying to find me, knowing that I've done something to make him look bad. His hands might as well be around my throat right now because I can't breathe.

I shouldn't have looked.

My addiction got to me.

Now, I'm in trouble

I can see you online, he types, his fingers must be moving at the speed of light. Now I know your location. I will find you, Luvvie Thompson. I will kill you for real this time.

I scrape my chair back but I can't escape the computer quick enough. He's climbing through the screen, coming for me, about to get me. There's blood on his hands, blood which will soon be all over me. This time, he really will kill me. A man like Cash won't let me escape a second time.

"Oh, Luvvie, you really thought you could run away from me?" His twisted smile makes me sick to my stomach. "I told you, lots of times, you can't ever get away from me. Never...ever...ever..."

"Phoenix?"

Sweat pours down my face. My head bangs against the headboard. I blink, the light infiltrates my vision, burning my retinas.

"Phoenix, are you okay? What's going on?"

"N...nightmare. Just a nightmare. No one is coming."

Orson holds me, his wonderful, protective side encasing me in love, reminding me of his presence always with me, no matter what. Not only is no one coming for me, but I'm not by myself either. I have everything here, I'm good, I'm safe.

"You're having nightmares again, Phoenix, I don't like it." His soft fingers run through my sweaty strands of hair. "It leaves me worried for you. You were having nightmares before, weren't you? In the city. I always associate them with you not being happy."

Is that right? Do the nightmares come with unhappiness? Or with lack of control? Maybe it's the booze. I did drink far too much on date night.

I need to think things through, need to plan my next move, because clearly, something isn't quite working out here.

"S...sorry for waking you. Sorry for nightmares."

"Don't be sorry. We're all going through things." This man understands me. It's beautiful. Aimee's jealousy of me is well-placed. "We can get through it together, me and you. No matter what it is. If you're unhappy and want to make some changes, then we can."

His words cause the air to reach my lungs much easier, my head to clear. I don't know what my next move will be and I guess I don't need to figure it all out right now, but having options helps. The walls are no longer closing in around me.