Notes to self

Flaws

What's my biggest flaws?
Thinking no one cares? or does no one care ?
Think all people are the same?but no one has changed my mind that all people are not the same
My insecurities ? What am I suppose to do tell someone every time I feel insecure about a situation
Thinking that no one actually likes me ?
Thinking none can help me or understand ?
Well the people in my life rn don't help or understand. Even after I have expressed my insecurities
Does everyone feel like this?
How do I express my emotions to a new person ? I fear the unknown of how they will react will they react the same as everyone else I have just wasted my time?
Am I stupid for feeling like this
Half empty /Half full
I feel like I will not be completely happy until I have someone who understands me like I understand others. not a boyfriend just someone who understands me yes I know I should look for what I need in someone else but I NEED someone to confine in I have people to confine it but it feel like I'm talking to a brick fucking wall so it doesn't really help I'm trying really hard to change myself for the best.
I'm not dwelling on my thought for as long think so hard until it makes me sad finding a problem in every situation i can't it take too much of my energy but I still do it sometime and I always think I have done something wrong even if I know I didn't because what if I missed something.There was a point in my life when I did feel like I could confine in these people either I wasn't paying attention enough to actually notice they were not listening or they eventually just stoped listening
How do you tell someone your fucking sad
I guess I feel like either they will not understand or they won't be able to help
I need to cry about the Donovan situation I guess I kinda just felt betrayed by him even if we weren't "friends" anymore and I feel like that whole situation was my fault because I trusted him but I also just didn't know that is what he had turned into

I feel like no one truly knows me or truly wants to get to know me I truly do feel like I am a good person and deserve the best but where don't find that I know I shouldn't just want it to come to me but I just want that person to come to me

I've been helping myself and I DONT want to fall back into my patterns of self hate and feeling insecure all the time but I can only do so much by myself I feel like I have done what I need to do to help myself so where is my happiness I'm not ungrateful just not patient I learning how to be patient but I also just want a sign that I should keep being patient and that when you are patient it pays off

I want someone to notice when I'm not feeling like myself but at the same time I also know it's not anyone else's job
I just want someone to be all mine

Sometime I wish I was basic and didn't feel this much but when I feel the highs of my emotions I wouldn't wish to be anyone else