Notes to self

I hate this game

Mabey it's time to realized  I can't win this fight and I should just leave it alone I know this is fucked up but I'm tryna pull him back in so that I can reject him so I can him feel like he made me feel and it's sadly not working he is still winning ughhhhhhhh I know why would I do such a thing to a person but fuck him honestly and if you were there you would agree with me he's such a dick and he's damn good at it I'm tryna play the devil at his own game and it's harder than it looks fuck god fucking dammit i will come out with a victory I swear It's for the culture Mabey I should dive in head first fuck all the games and just fuck him instead of trying to get into his head fuck him and make his think I want it all back and never speak to him again lol his evil kinda rubbed off on me but idk what he thinks about me at this moment idk if he hates me or loves me can't tell he's so nonchalant it's annoying he still flirts with me or feels some typa way about me I know this because last time I saw him in person don't ask why but ok first of all background story about why I see him all the time we are in the same friend group I met him trough our mutual friend  and we ended up talking for some months anyway one night he texted me or called me in accident coincidently that same night I had been talking to my friend about his just reminiscing about our weird past together cause it was kinda cute for a moment heavy on for a moment anyway fuck so I called him back to see what he wanted he answered the phone drunk asf I can always tell when he's fucked up by his voice  has a little conversation he asked what I was doing I said nothing just chill with our mutual friend he said shit y'all wanna hang out I said yes she said yes he came over drunk asf anyway to the flirting so when he came over our other friend was also with I'm so we rolled up and smoked then the convo came up that we should get strippers for so friends coming up birthday we all shook on it and when I went to dap him up he grabbed my hand for like 20 seconds and we just had this intense eye contact it was weird but yes that all lol it's the little moments that stand out to me  I bet people wanna know what he did to make me so mad welllllllll it's a lot like a lot but the cherry on top for me was him kissing my best friend lol crazy ion even wanna Finnish this writing anymore it's too long of a story