Notes to self

Sex drugs money

One day life turned into sex drugs and money and I stoped being a child oh if only I knew back then how much I would miss being a child not having to worry about much.
Life was so much simpler ,now There are all many vultures out there trying to steal whatever you have left in you one day I lost my innocence and I didn't even notice cause I though that's what I wanted oh how I was wrong I was so worried about growing up and being grown I didn't realize I would never get it back or be able to be a child again time really flew so for now I'm gonna enjoy my last year of being a "teen" I can't believe I actually made it to 17. Yea boys are cool but they are not all that I could have went a extra year or 2 without them just being innocent if I could talk to 14 year old me I would tell her to just slow down it will happen one day all of it dreams do come true but they are not always what they seem you have to realize the good come with the bad and sometimes the bad is just not worth it but to contradict what I said I would not take anything that I did back it shaped me into the person I am today and I am not ashamed of the person I am today I'm actually proud. she would be proud of me to she would envy me probably she would think I'm so pretty probably wish she was me I would also tell her not to romanticize drugs cause fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk drugs give a lot but take a lot younger me would love the life I'm living now but somehow I wanna live the life I was living when I was younger boys well the boy we got kinda ruined your image of boys and he wasn't very nice to me heartbreak isn't as easy and fun as it sound crazy enough I though bring heartbroken was just something you can get over it's not it took me 6 months ,half of a fucking year to get myself straight you find out how disgusting and disrespectful men can actually be you have to protect year precious heart cause it's so beautiful as kind and loving but all the things that happened to me was inevitable you were destined to become a strong woman and sometimes strong women have to go through shit to become strong honestly I'm just glad that life waited on me and let me be a kid for so long I though I was missing out on so much but really I was being saved I'm glad the me now had to deal with all the bullshit cause younger me would have been devastated thanks you for protecting my heart for so long against the bad of the world now I can't see what the rest of life holds but I can't just leave it at the bad my high school years have taught me so much I've met a whole new world of people who changed my perspective in life even if it got me into drugs alcohol and sex lol I would not have ask for a different experience it was fun with all the late night exploring different shit having different minds help expand my mind being able to make my own money having coworker literally having a job is fucking amazing going and coming as you please buying all the clothes and eating all the food I want because I have the money for it all the late night drives becoming more extroverted growing into my power standing up for yourself having men fucking simp lol buying shoes learning how to drive being able to have a serious crush and actually see it go somewhere life isn't about imagining anymore it's about doing I can finally do want I imagined all my life live out my Wildest 14 year old dreams somewhere along the line you delveped anger issues and i wish I hadn't lol cause idk how to control it half the time kinda got boobs always wished for them hella b cup tho but big tittys are for losers life's good and it's getting better you still have the best parts of your heart safe you are still kind loving and giving just a lot tuffer and funnier now and you know who you are 75 percent of the time no questions about it you have such a big personality and I show it now no more hiding and being shy .anxiety is a bitch tho so Is depression but like I said I'm
more tough now so you can deal with that shit all love