Pure-sue \ pər-ˈsü , -ˈsyü \

IV

IV.
As we part ways with my group, I could not help but to think of Lex's idea. He really is a sensible man.

My heart is throbbing as if it wants to get out of my chest. Why is my heart like this? Why would it beat like this? What's happening?

Ahh! I don't know. I don't want to think about it.
I am currently walking home. It has been a routine to me. I believe I could think more properly when I'm walking. But at this moment, I don't want to think because I can't even know what should I think and what was this that I'm feeling. So I decided to put on my earphones, play my favorite song - "The Other Side." I have never felt so confused with the lyrics about this song. I think the quote "you remember the melody of the song when one is happy, and the lyrics when one is sad" is true. As for now I don't know really what this is all about.

I thought of him as the lyrics of the song played.
"Right here, right now I put the offer out. I don't want to chase you down..." I don't want to enter the world of Lex. I know that I could not take the mysteries but myself couldn't help but to think about him.

"Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play...?" I wish him to reach out and go out of his shell.

The song continued. And all I could think of while playing the song is him.

I sigh. What's happening?

Basically I'm walking with my shoulder slouching since I could not bear my confusions.

"Hey..." I straightened and look where the voice is coming from. It was from Lex. So I was shocked.

"Y-ye-yes...?" I stuttered while answering him.

"Can we talk?" I feel a little bit anxious as to what we're going to talk about.

"O-oka-y..." I replied.

"So what's this all about?" I asked.

"Hmm, I think I have to clear myself out." Lex said.

"Why would you do that anyway? I'd never misunderstood you though." I scrunch my eyebrows as I replied.

"I just don't want others to think negatively about me." He added. I could feel a glimpse of sadness in his voice. So I soften myself and flash an empathic face.

"Let others say something about you. You could not do something about those. That is how they think, that is how they are. What we could only do is to handle ourselves. Give to others their opinions, but give to yourself the truth about you." That came out of my mouth naturally.

Lex stayed silent as if he is digesting what I have just said.

I didn't notice that he is already walking me home. He just accompanied me without saying anything.

I don't know what to say. In fact I don't know how to initiate any conversation, especially with him. Besides, what are we supposed to talk? We have just met and talked a while ago. I doubt that he could even remember our first meeting. I was talking to myself when he suddenly said something.

"What?" I asked. I did not hear him since I was too preoccupied.

"About the time you approached me...I just want to say sorry for my rude behavior." He said while looking down.

"Hmm...I'm not just used to being approached by someone I don't know." He continued.

I was astounded! Does that mean he could remember me?

"Ahh...that's okay. It's my fault anyway that I have approached you. I didn't consider how you would feel. It would be a natural response, I think." I replied.

"It's great that you think that way. It's rare to find someone who thinks like you." He just complimented me. And I felt something in me which I really can't explain.

"Why have you approached me that time by the way? I forgot to ask you before." He asked.

"Hmm...I was just too curious of the book that you were reading last time. I thought it's an interesting piece to make you smile." I lied. Of course I wouldn't tell him the main reason that I was hooked by his smile.

"Ahhh!!! That! I already returned it to the library. Sorry." He said.

"By the way, do you know someone named Sophia? I heard you called for her before?" He added.

Huh? I don't know anyone whose name is Sohia." I recalled that moment...

"Ahhh! Maybe you just misheard it. I was actually calling for Anima, since she was the only person I know in the school. I was actually a transferee." Oppsss. Maybe I went too far. He didn't even asked for that and yet here I am telling something unnecessary. I told to myself.

Stupid Psyche! He might have thought that you are a push over. Why did I even said those things? I beat myself up quietly. I reprimanded my own self.
"Hmm I also don't know anyone in the school. So I guess we're pretty the same in that manner." He said.

I sigh. At least he took it positively.

"Who is Sophia anyway?" I asked him.

"Are you going to the bus stop?" He asked in return. He just diverted my question. Maybe he doesn't want to talk about her. So I keep silent.