Pure-sue \ pər-ˈsü , -ˈsyü \

III

III.

"Psy" my mother called out as I entered the house.

My eyes are stuffy. I know, so its a bad timing to face my parents.

"We saw what happened at the gate. Mind if you share?" My father said despisely.

"Psy, you know his situation. You know what's happening to him. So please..."my mother purposely stopped as she move her eyes off of me.

"So what mom?" I yelled. I know I shocked them with my distatsteful response but...for heaven's sake.

"P-psy!" My mother stuttered. She couldnt contain her shock.

"Look! Im sorry mom, dad." I sound like a rebellious child right now.

"What's happening to you" my father hissed.

"Nothing!" I irritably respond.

"My dear" my mother sofly whispered. We just dont want you to be hurt." She huffed. She patted my shoulder and stroke my hair.

"I know it's hard to believe, but I fell in love with a delusional. I fell in love with someone even to the extent of giving up my sanity. I chased him and supported his delusions. I opted that I could see Sophia whom I couldnt really see. I befriended an imaginary person created by someone I love." That came out pretty boldly.

My eyes are starting to blur...Im trying my best not to burst out in tears. Really, im holding it pretty strongly.

And so what? So what if I am crazy? Isnt it this is the nature of love? I huffed.

My mom started to shed tears, a richful tear at that. She sobbed at my father's chest signalling that she could no longer do anything.

As for me...I sat down the sofa and hugged my own knees.

My mother started to walk towards me and hugged me as she sobbingly say "what have I done for you to end up this way?"

I could feel her tears in my shoulders. My father, as clueless as he is, just pat my mother's back to somehow console her.

"Mom," my voice now cracked at that. "What should I do?" My fears started to fall as i asked her helplessly. "I love him." At that, i cried my lungs out, truly heavily. "But she loves Sophia!" I could hardly speak in between stuttering and crying. You know the feeling right?

"I know Psy" unaware that my father already moved to my side, wrapped me in his comforting arms.

"Dad!" I, again, cried out loud. My chest beginning to hurt so I clenched my palm right into it, yet, still I continued to cry.

I am helpless. Oh God please spare me of this pain. I cannot take it.

My mother stood up and walk towards the kitchen. She might have noticed that I cant breathe. I could hear the clashing of the fridge's door as she opens and closes it. I still am crying out my heart when my mother offered me the glass of water. Thank God, my throat went hoarse so its a blessing that I could drink at that.

"I'd be willing to be insane for his sake mom! He needed me. I know he could be happy at the thought of Sophia. So how am I gonna break that?" Still sobbing while facing my mother's worried face.

My mother must have pittied me much to have that kind of face in front of me. I know she's conflicted. My father must also have the same sentiment as hers. Funny to see, suppossedly, because his manly feature seems to soften. And I must admit it feels weird and somehow cute.

"Ugh!" I wiped my tears with my index finger and I gave them a weak smile. I dont want them to worry any longer.

"I'm already fine mom, dad, thanks a lot" as I hugged them both, really tight at that. Im so lucky to have them both as my parents.

I know they were still worried about me, but Im already determined. The pain is yet to subside though.

"So I gotta go my room mom. I have to do my homework." I lied. I just dont want them to see me falling apart.

...and so...just when I got in to and locked the door of my room, I slid down and began to hug my knees again. This time I cried silently, but heavily, 'till my hearts content.

I hate it...but all my memories of him keep on replaying.

-------------I trembled as I saw the dead body in front of me. I was about to collapse when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me over to his chest. He hugged me trying to cover my eyes. I could feel his tight grip on my shoulders. I know he, too, is afraid, but God, he's trying.

I tried to look up to see his face, he was grinning so his jawline was emphasized. Cute is an understatement, he is handsome. Ugh, i wouldnt want to admit that. Like i would say it out loud. Never.

--------------He looked at me, just a quick glance though--and there you go, everything suddenly went blank. Everything stopped in that moment slowmowed at that as I pressed my lips against his. It was a ki-ki-kiss!

--------------I sobbed because I cant contain my pain any longer. I sobbed because this is the farthest I could go to him. I sobbed because... I know this might be the last.

"Im sorry Psy..." That was the last statement from Lex before he walked out.

---my chest is hurting, I clenched my fist at that. God, its too painful. Cant you just take this away?

I dove into my bed. Covered my face with my pillow, and there I cried and cried. I dont care now if my parents hear my weeping. I just cant take the pain.

I dont know when, but I fell asleep while hugging my own pillow. I dont know if my tears still flowed while Im asleep but surely I'd never felt this lonely before.