Pure-sue \ pər-ˈsü , -ˈsyü \

SEVEN

LEX

I.

"Humans are pleasure oriented. According to the Hedonists, the most important pursuit of man is pleasure. We tend to seek pleasure and avoid suffering." T'was the opening spiel of Mr. Carnis.

"You know guys...Im really intrigued by this philosophy, because although many deny pleasure but reality always brings us to conclude that we are always after the feeling of pleasure. Who in here wants to get hurt anyway? Probably no one right? Because we want to live a happy life." He continued his discussion.

Ugh, as he disscusses this, why do I keep reminded of the painting I saw in his house? I shook my head to shove it away but with all means I just cant.

I could not forget how Psyche was trembling at that moment. And so I looked at her...but she seemed enjoying the topic right now. Did she already forget it?

I sighed. So am I the only one stuck on that? Am I the only one feeling strange about it? I sighed again...deeply this time.

I looked at Gist who is sitting beside me and who's also busy staring at...Anima. He could no longer deny his feelings. And I laughed at that.

But suddenly, I remembered Sophia. How was she? Its already been a week. Did she really forgot about me? Wait...what? We didnt even broke up.

I clenched my fist against my chest as it gets hurt. I really dont know what I did for her to disappear out of the blue. Ugh, even how many times I think about it, there's no logical reason behind everything. And so I just sobbed on my desk. I think, if I have not done that, someone might see me about to cry.

"Okay that' enough for today, we'll have an exam next meeting so be sure to study" I heard Mr. Carnis said as he dismissed the class. As for me, I remained sobbing on my desk, pretending to be asleep. I just want to be alone right now...and I know I cant do that when my friends call me.

"Lex, arent you going with us?" Gist huffed as he tried to wake me up.

"Uhh-- go on without me. I'll sleep some more" I tried to sound as genuine as I can. I hope it appears so to them.

I really want to be alone. I dont want to cause anything anymore...most especially to Psyche. She'd heard so much, she had already seen so much.

I feel embarassed at that - at the moment I burst out in anger. I think I have made her terrified.

I clenched my fist as I remembered how jerk I was that day.

If only Sophia was there...then Psyche might not have been scared like that.

...If only Sophia is here...

Oh God, I missed her. I really do. Now, my eyes...Im about to cry again. Just how weak I am in front of love? Just how stupid I am in faced of my own emotions? Geez...this is what makes emotions and feelings powerful.

"Lex?" A familiar voice called me...

Ahhh, I know this voice...I clearly know whose is that. Am I just imagining things out of my desperation?

"Lex," she kept on calling. No! This is real. I'm not just imagining things. That's Sophia.

I lifted my head and looked at where Sophia was. And I didnt have to look too far, because she's right beside me.

"Sophia!" I gasped. God, I missed this girl.

I hugged her as tight as I could. She's here, oh geez, she's here!

Where have you been? Why didnt you contact me? Are you okay? What happened? Sophia, please answer me? How have you been? Did I do anything wrong or have said anything bad? That came out almost like a rap. I didnt even breathe to ask those questions.

"Wait...relax...lemme answer your questions one by one okay. You didnt even let me take a rest and threw so many questions right ahead..." She huffed.

And that snapped me to my senses. So I tried to calm my self down for a bit.

"Uhm I was always with you, you know...it's just that---"

"How? You dont know how desperate I was trying to see you" I cut what she's supposed to say.

"I know" she muttered as she tried to avoid my eyes.

"Then...why? Why didnt you even let me see you or talk to you" I hissed as I couldnt understand her.

"Lex...I know that fantasy is way better than reality but reality is far more true than that of fantasy. We might want to escape the harsh reality and try to live into fantasy, but that doesnt eradicate what's real; and that doesnt change the fact that at the end of the day, though we're enjoying the joys brought about by fantasy, we still have to wake up and face the reality." She said.

I dont understand. Why was she talking about this now? She didnt even answer my questions. I dont care about fantasy or even the reality, what matters is that she is with me.

"Why would you tell me that?" I asked her. "I dont care any of that though" I huffed.

"Soon Lex...soon...you'll understand. She mysteriously muttered.

"Promise me, you wont do any of these again." I said making a pinky swear. I know that this is so childish but...the heck, I dont care any of that!

But---

...She hugged me instead...

I hugged her back...very tight at that. God, I wouldnt want to lost her.